We made our appointment for the first interview of the home study, three weeks ago. At first I was fine, mostly bc it was so far away. Then a few days ago my dh started to freak out about it. We had a few arguments due to the stress of the whole thing.
Today was the day. The apt was at 9:00 so it gave us some time to prepare. I asked him what shirt he was wearing and he said "just a work shirt" I got upset bc this is important and I wanted to make a good impression on the social worker. I started to freak out that he was going to mess this up due to his lack of effort. We got into a fight. Tears were shed.
When we get there I was glad to find out that it was a group interview. We sat together on a couch, so it was comfortable. She starts out by asking us if were are nervous...........then I started to cry. Then she asked me about my infertility and I cried some more. She was understanding and said that she sees many couples who come from pain like us.
She asked us each separate questions, but we were able to chime in and help each other out. Overall I think we did ok. She was very nice. She started a smaller agency years ago after she adopted her son. Later on she merged with Bethany. This was my first time meeting her. I felt very comfortable with her. We were in there for two hours. She basically asked us the same questions that we had on our forms. Some of the questions she would ask a follow up question and others were basic. I cried a little off and on. It is hard to stop once you start.
The next time we go in for interviews it has to be separate bc state law requires it that way. She said that she gets surprised all the time by things that people say when they are away from their spouse.
After the appointment we went out to lunch. Then my dh had to go back to work. I am home for the rest of the day. We are both exhausted from the stress leading up to this day and all of the emotional stuff we explored today.
Those interviews area emotional...our s.w did not get too personal this time around. She was very laid back and focused mainly on how we were parented and how our parents disciplined us. I am so thankful that I have great parents who gave me the foundation to build my faith on which has helped me through some difficult moments. Anyways...one interview down. We had three altogether. OUr last one was yesterday at our house. That one was info overload. Whew.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you have all 3 done.
DeleteI'm sorry you were so stressed! It is so hard to confront the loss of infertility and move through adoption. It is just hard. I really hope it gets easier from here!
ReplyDeleteYeah we are both sensitive emotional people to begin with. I have been able to move forward with accepting my loss. Today ripped open some old wounds. I am now getting excited to adopt but I am hesitant to feel confident that it will happen yet bc I have been disappointed so many times.
DeleteI'm so sorry today was rough. It's true -- working toward an adoption can definitely open up some old IF wounds. I hope you're able to continue processing! And I hope you can trust that God will take care of you in all of this. It's so hard to just let go and trust, but worth it. You will be amazing adoptive parents. Praying for you as your continue on the journey!
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
ReplyDelete