We decided that we would contact the sw on Monday 7/20, since that would be a week since the last time I contacted her. On Friday, 7/17, I got a phone call from the sw.
The sw said that the bm had gone to the hospital and she might be in labor. We spoke a little bit about the next steps. She said that we had to wait and see what the bm wanted to do. She might want to see us right aft birth or she may wait until discharge time. The could be 2 days for natural birth and 4 days for c-section. She said that we might bring this baby home on Sun or Mon.
She also mentioned that discharge could take 3 hours and we had to attend a newborn care class.
I got really excited and called dh. The bm went to a local hospital that specializes in women's issues. Everyone around here loves that place. It is small and has great staff. The sw also said that they are very adoption friendly. She called them to remind them of the case details and gave them our names.
After I got off the phone with her, I went into cleaning mode. I think it was a combination of trying to keep my mind off of it while also making sure my house was ready for a baby.
A few hours later the sw called back and said it was a false alarm. The bm was not in labor so they sent her home. I was expecting to get another call back that night or the next day, but here I am on Sunday with no news.
The positives that I am focusing on are the fact that I actually got a call when she went to the hospital. I am very happy about that since I was under the impression I would only get a call after the birth. This means that I will get a day or two prior notice. She saw the dr on Fri which makes me feel better knowing that everything seems to be ok.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Trying to be Patient
We found out about this baby about 4 weeks ago. I only really started to feel like I was waiting about two weeks ago. The due date was yesterday, so now I feel like I am stuck in the 2ww but I can not poas.
I emailed the sw on Monday to try and get an update. I was surprised when she wrote me back later that day. She said that the bm was doing well and she was still extremely pregnant. She had a dr apt later that day and the sw would try to get an update on Tues.
Now it is Thurs and I never heard back from the sw. I can't harass the sw and risk getting her mad, so I have to be very careful about how often I contact her. She has been very nice to me lately so I don't want to jeopardize that.
We are trying to be patient but it is very hard. I am trying to focus on the positives" the bm is seeking medical attention at this point, and she is still interested in us. I told dh to enjoy our dinkhood while it lasts. This has helped him a little.
I emailed the sw on Monday to try and get an update. I was surprised when she wrote me back later that day. She said that the bm was doing well and she was still extremely pregnant. She had a dr apt later that day and the sw would try to get an update on Tues.
Now it is Thurs and I never heard back from the sw. I can't harass the sw and risk getting her mad, so I have to be very careful about how often I contact her. She has been very nice to me lately so I don't want to jeopardize that.
We are trying to be patient but it is very hard. I am trying to focus on the positives" the bm is seeking medical attention at this point, and she is still interested in us. I told dh to enjoy our dinkhood while it lasts. This has helped him a little.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Pack N Play
My friend gave her pack n play to another friend a few years back and now it was going to be mine. I figured it would make a good temporary crib until after we move next month. I really didn't want to get a crib yet anyway.
My friend brought the pack n play over and we attempted to set it up. There was no instruction manual but there were some instructions written on the bottom. It seemed really straight forward. Get the sides to lock. We tried for over 30 min and could only get one side to lock. We tried pulling up. Then push the button in while pulling. We kept hearing a sound like it had locked but then it would not stay. She called the primary owner and asked her about it. She mentioned that she had a hard time with it too.
We decided that it must be broken bc we were able to get the one side to lock. We went to the store to go look at new ones and try out the floor models just in case we had missed something and needed to ask someone at the store for help. We got the floor model and we were able to unlock and re lock the sides with no issues. I debated about whether or not to buy a new one in the store. It was cheaper on Amazon so I decided that I would order one when I got home and hoping that it would get here before the baby.
We went back to my house and started to fold it up for the trash. That is when my friend yells out "it locked." I could not believe it. We then were able to lock the other 3 sides in two seconds. We unlocked and then made sure we could lock it again. This time it was so simple.
It turns out that you have to lock the sides first before pushing down the center to made the bottom flat. When we did sides first, it was simple. When we had previously done bottom first it would not lock the sides.
We had a good laugh about this.
My friend brought the pack n play over and we attempted to set it up. There was no instruction manual but there were some instructions written on the bottom. It seemed really straight forward. Get the sides to lock. We tried for over 30 min and could only get one side to lock. We tried pulling up. Then push the button in while pulling. We kept hearing a sound like it had locked but then it would not stay. She called the primary owner and asked her about it. She mentioned that she had a hard time with it too.
We decided that it must be broken bc we were able to get the one side to lock. We went to the store to go look at new ones and try out the floor models just in case we had missed something and needed to ask someone at the store for help. We got the floor model and we were able to unlock and re lock the sides with no issues. I debated about whether or not to buy a new one in the store. It was cheaper on Amazon so I decided that I would order one when I got home and hoping that it would get here before the baby.
We went back to my house and started to fold it up for the trash. That is when my friend yells out "it locked." I could not believe it. We then were able to lock the other 3 sides in two seconds. We unlocked and then made sure we could lock it again. This time it was so simple.
It turns out that you have to lock the sides first before pushing down the center to made the bottom flat. When we did sides first, it was simple. When we had previously done bottom first it would not lock the sides.
We had a good laugh about this.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Gender Reveal
I fell in love and just had to buy a few things in pink or purple. This little dress and sweater was my favorite. I texted it to my family for a gender reveal. So now you know that the baby is a girl. It makes it more exciting and more scary at the same time.
I went out and got the basics to satisfy the social worker which was clothes, food, and diapers. My friend gave me a car seat and a pack n play. I spent about $300 on basics and even tried not to spend that much.
I bought some newborn and some 0-3. Some of my friends said that their baby was small enough for newborn at birth and others said they went right to 0-3. I made a list of what I got at each store so I could return it if needed. I am not opening up anything until I see how big the baby is.
I put everything out in the living room for DH to see. He did not say anything. This has been really hard on him so I knew that I had to find a way to expose him to things without pushing him too far. I asked him about it and he started to open up about his fears. We had a great talk.
One week until due date!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Paperwork Preview
Today we went into the office to see the SW and go over the papers we will sign once the baby is born. We have to sign many papers stating that we understand the risks. They cannot guarantee what the health of the child will be and the bm has 30 days to change her mind etc. They will do some testing of the baby and the bm at the hospital to check for basic health and do a drug screen.
It was a nice meeting. We had heard most of the case details before. There was one surprise. The bm did not pay her insurance bill. When the sw found out, she paid, but it was too late and now the bm has none and needs to reapply. We might have to cover the delivery bill which would be a few thousand more. She said sometimes the hospital will cut you a break when you are the adoptive parents. The sw is trying to get the issue straightend out and she said that if it goes through they might be able to get it covered even after the baby is born. We would not have to pay for this until after the 30 days since we would not be respobsible unless we keep the baby. Although this could be more money I don't care unless it is nonrefundable. I have come this far already.
The sw told us to keep going with this case. She congratulated us on making it this far. It is a weird place to be in. I am very excited to have made it this far. I am excited that the plan is that I will take this baby home. I am scared to get too excited bc this is not permanent yet.
She said after the 30 days are up then we go to court to file for pemanent placement. She told us to tell our family to think of it as we will be foster parents for 30 days. She told us not to have a party yet. I had to laugh bc I have nothing set up and I told my family already no parties until the 30 days are up.
My friend gave me a car seat. So far that is the only thing I have. I might go shopping this weekend and get a few things to hide in the house.
The sw asked us if we knew the gender. She never mentioned it so I just assumed they did not know. She knew and asked us if we wanted to know. I was afraid and then I looked at dh, I was shocked when he wanted to know. We found out.............It is crazy that even though you are happy for either, knowing makes it more real. I am not telling anyone yet. I need to process this first.
Count down to the due date: 14 days
It was a nice meeting. We had heard most of the case details before. There was one surprise. The bm did not pay her insurance bill. When the sw found out, she paid, but it was too late and now the bm has none and needs to reapply. We might have to cover the delivery bill which would be a few thousand more. She said sometimes the hospital will cut you a break when you are the adoptive parents. The sw is trying to get the issue straightend out and she said that if it goes through they might be able to get it covered even after the baby is born. We would not have to pay for this until after the 30 days since we would not be respobsible unless we keep the baby. Although this could be more money I don't care unless it is nonrefundable. I have come this far already.
The sw told us to keep going with this case. She congratulated us on making it this far. It is a weird place to be in. I am very excited to have made it this far. I am excited that the plan is that I will take this baby home. I am scared to get too excited bc this is not permanent yet.
She said after the 30 days are up then we go to court to file for pemanent placement. She told us to tell our family to think of it as we will be foster parents for 30 days. She told us not to have a party yet. I had to laugh bc I have nothing set up and I told my family already no parties until the 30 days are up.
My friend gave me a car seat. So far that is the only thing I have. I might go shopping this weekend and get a few things to hide in the house.
The sw asked us if we knew the gender. She never mentioned it so I just assumed they did not know. She knew and asked us if we wanted to know. I was afraid and then I looked at dh, I was shocked when he wanted to know. We found out.............It is crazy that even though you are happy for either, knowing makes it more real. I am not telling anyone yet. I need to process this first.
Count down to the due date: 14 days