Like Pope Paul VI Institute on FB to donate 5 dollars

One of their donors will donate us $5 if you like Pope Paul VI Institute's Facebook page.

Right now they have something like 1,000 likes, but thousands more are needed.

  

Please like us today! Just one click.Please forward this email to your family and friends and ask them to like us as well.  

   

I saw this on a Martha trying to be Mary's blog.

http://amarthatryingtobemary.blogspot.com/2012/12/helping-pope-paul-vi-institute-and.html

Prayers needed for Newton, CT

Yesterday afternoon my principal came to my door and told me that there had been a school shooting in CT. I asked him if it was a high school student gone mad. He told me it was an adult in an elementary school. My jaw dropped. He wanted me to be aware in case any of my students got a text about it. I walked back into my class with a different pair of eyes. I was so grateful that we were all ok. I had to keep myself from crying.

We have practiced lock down drills before. We always knew when they were coming. They were all very orderly. Honestly some teachers even cheat and keep their door locked etc. We get down on the ground in a huddle. It is very hard to keep them quiet. The principal will jiggle the door handle and you are not allowed to answer the door or the phone. The kids are scared to imagine that someone is out there trying to get in.

I cannot imagine what these little children went through hearing gunshots. Running for cover. Trying to find a place to hide. Wondering if you will get out alive. I watched it on the news and I read one story about a teacher and I cried both times. I even cried on my way home yesterday.

I am sure that nobody out there can ever imagine that someone is capable of  murdering tons of children like this. There is evil in the world. Prayers are needed.

Being Thankful

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I traveled down to visit my family. I had a nice time. My sister was not there so that made things easier. My cousin had a baby 3 months ago. She looked great but she was complaining that she used to have a flat stomach...UGH  It was hard for me at first, but then I slowly got used to it. She is not such a show off like my sister. Also, she has been more kind to my situation. She also had a tough delivery bc she was induced, got bells palsy from it, and then her baby had major acid reflux. This made me feel less jealous and more sorry for her. After awhile though I started to reach my limit when the only topic of conversation for my relatives was the baby over and over.
 
It is that time to reflect on what you are thankful for. DH and I have been really thinking about this one lately. Being childless is still a major crisis. I still think about it every day, but I am trying to also think of the many blessings I have.  It is really hard when there is something you want really bad and you know you'll never get it. It makes you obsess over that one thing and forget about all the other good things.

We really do have a lot to be thankful for. We have a stable marriage, a house,  we are both in good shape and in good health. We both have jobs. I have a job that I love. I get a lot of time off including the summer. I have good friends and family who care about me. None of my family lost their lives or house during that hurricane last month.

 Even though we are on a budget due to saving for the adoption fund, we decided to work on the house some more. We kept it simple and bought some organizers and other items for the house. Sometimes a small change can make life better. I had a small section of my bedroom where I keep my extra sheets and blankets. It was a big mess. I had them on a table in the back. I finally bought a tall storage cabinet to store them in. It is great bc now they are tidy and you cannot see them behind the closed doors. There are also many shelves so I can sort and organize them.

I took last month off due to a cyst and I am taking this month off too. I just reached 5.5 years of TTC and I am tired of all this. I would like to relax and enjoy the holidays.

Cyber Monday Sale on TPT

 

Teachers Pay Teachers is having a sale 11/26 and 11/27. Please visit my store now and bookmark your favorites. During the sale I will be giving 15% off and then you can use the promo code to get an additional 10%.

Amoxicillin

For the past three weeks I have had laryngitis which is one of the worst things a teacher can have.  I'm tough and like to just stick it out. I try not to take too many pills. As is it, I already take tons for my fertility issues. Well after three weeks I  had enough. I saw the dr and was prescribed amoxicillin for a sinus infection. The crazy thing is that yesterday was CD1 so I am taking antibiotics CD1-10 for the first time in months. I usually take biaxin, but since my TEBB went away I stopped taking it months ago.

Last night I woke up at 3am with killer cramps. OMG it was terrible. I was not even sure if it was AF or the my GI system from the AB. I did not have to go to the bathroom so I concluded it was AF and I took some Advil and went back to sleep.  I started to think about it this morning. I usually do not have any cramps. I'm not bragging, but since I have infertility and major Endo I'm very thankful to not have to suffer every month like that. It is also interesting for others to know  that I usually don't have any cramps, bc I know some women suffer with terrible ones and are told that is just what you should expect.

So now I am wondering if this is a sign of things to come or if the amoxicillin caused this. Who knows? This could be affecting something that made my uterus mad.... I did a google search and there was mention of it causing muscle cramps and stomach cramps. Some people were asking about how it would affect their cycle and/or give them cramps. UGH, I have 9 more days of this.... Biaxin made me feel sick but never gave me cramps like this...............

The funny thing is the Dr said she likes to start out simple and specifically gave me amoxicillin bc she said it was the most gentle on the stomach.....................

Napro in the News

Not much to report today, so I decided to do a google news search for napro. I found three articles.


Dr. Edward Fleming, a napro trained dr joined the Dillsburg Family Health Center in PA.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/polish-govt.-will-pay-for-test-tube-babies-despite-pressure-from-catholic-b/
Poland is 90% Catholic. A group of 100 Polish scientists were dismayed by the IVF plan after issuing a document urging the government to pursue NaProTechnology as an ethically acceptable and highly successful method of treating infertility. The government is now going to pay for IVF. This comes despite strong opposition from the country’s Catholic bishops who have threatened to excommunicate politicians who publicly support IVF.

 http://www.ndsmcobserver.com/viewpoint/something-better-than-contraception-1.2947509#.UJ-d-aCk-Sp
 Lindsey Marugg is a senior majoring in music and pre-med at Our Lady’s University. She can be reached at lmarugg@nd.edu

In her article she had two ruptured cysts and went to the ER. She went on birth control and had issues with others at school. She said that  the most common medicine prescribed for endometriosis is birth control, and the most common treatment for infertility caused by endo is ART. She concluded "Now here’s something that should strike a nerve with Catholic women. Are the only options birth control when you don’t want kids and in-vitro when you do?"  

She worked on a study in Omaha and said, "I can tell you that the science behind NaProTechnology is real.  Beyond that, I am a success story myself. I have polycystic ovarian disease, am on medication to treat the underlying problem and am now 8 natural cycles in a row, pain free. NaProTechnology has been successfully treating endometriosis without birth control for years."
 
At the end she raised a great point, "Why does no one at Our Lady’s University know about NaPro? If we claim to be a preeminent Catholic research institution, why isn’t NaPro on our radar? Why don’t we ever talk about how the World Health Organization labels hormonal birth control a class 1 carcinogen? The conversation always seems to fall back on: “The Catholic Church is against women.” False. The Catholic Church has been right all along.  Catholic teaching has led to a better way.  One that I confidently stand behind not based on the Catholic teaching alone, but on the proof offered in scientific statistics and in my own life. There is something better than contraception. But we need to open our hearts and minds to it.

I wrote her a letter bc I felt a connection to her frustration about lack of awareness of Napro. 

Teachers Help Teachers

 This past week was crazy with hurricane Sandy. We don't usually get hurricanes to reach this far north. Last year Irene stopped by and now this year Sandy. Our region is not really equipped to handle this. Thankfully my immediate area was spared. I have many family and friends who live further south and they lost power. Some lost it for one day and others still have no power 4 days later. They all have a place to stay. Many places near the river were flooded or destroyed. Now people are lined up at gas stations to buy gas for generators. It is nuts down there.Prayers are needed to get the power back on.

Then I saw Staten Island on the news. It looked like a tornado came through. The houses were destroyed completely. They were shredded and thrown all over. People were on the news with nothing but the clothes on their backs. I was crying watching people pick through debris looking for photos. People also died. Prayers are needed to help these people find shelter.

Now I am trying to do what I can to help but also stay within my budget. Today when I go shopping I am going to gather items to send to my aunt who lives near a local shelter. She said that over 100 people are there and they expect 100 more. They need basics like socks, soap etc.

Then I saw this post about teachers helping teachers.  I have signed up to help.I am donating all of my products with decimals. I honestly would donate all my products, but I thought that would be too much to try and find all the files and send them etc. I thought if I picked one topic it would be manageable for me to do and for the person organizing the donations..  Here are my donated products.
 
Laurah Jurca at The ESOL Odyssey, herself impacted by the storm, came up with a way to help support teachers who may have lost teaching materials due to Sandy's wrath.  She has mobilized teachers from TpT and is putting together a care package of teaching products donated by other teachers wanting to lend a hand. 













If you are a teacher who is able to help others please click on this link  

Please spread the word and if you have a blog, create a post about this.





If you are a teacher in need of help click here

LUFS Returns

Friday was CD1. I was on the fence about whether or not to chart, go into the clinic etc. My dh and I had a long talk about it. Somehow I  talked myself back into giving it another try. We agreed to give it everything. I even had an unused box of repronex that I have been too chicken to try. The fear was not multiples, the fear was lufs. We agreed at this point to just go for it.

Being that today was Monday and it was now CD4, I had to go in for baselines. I had not been to the clinic in two months. I decided to pop in at 7:45 am. They told me they could squeeze me in for a quick US. Well, an hour later, I started to freak out. I told them I had to go to work and that I had to come back later. She said that 10:45 was all clear and I would be all set then.

I get back there at 10:45 and wait, wait, wait. OMG everyone who came in after me went in. Someone even came in at 11:15 with an 11:15 apt and went in before me. They finally take me in around 11:20. I should have been back to school by 11:27. The school clock is a little off so I had another 5 min or so. I knew I would be late.

I finally get  the US and OMG there is a HUGE MONSTER CYST. It was over 5cm. It took up the whole screen. I think it was bigger than my uterus. So I waited all day, was going to be late and now I had that sucker staring at me. Now, I am on the bench. I drive back to school like a maniac and of course I am late.

ERGHHH so now I have mixed emotions. I am annoyed that I bothered to go into the clinic today, but glad I found out about the cyst. I really wanted a break, so I was glad to be on the bench, but I was mad that it was not my choice. I went back and forth. 5cm is huge. The nurse was shocked that I was not feeling it.

Then I was mad at myself for being lazy and not going to the clinic the last two months. I did not take my trigger this past moth, bc I was lazy and missed my OPK. It was early so I thought maybe I was normal. Well I guess I am not normal and I still have LUFS. I have to be gratelful that for the past year or so I have been able to treat my lufs with the trigger and the neupogen. I am also wondering how much my lack of neupogen and additon of LDN aggravated my LUFS.

I have had LUFS in the past of 2-3 cm. BUT 5cm is so large that something must have kept feeding it. When I used that language my DH laughed. I guess it goes with my monster theme. It was so black and hollow that I am worried it is still active. I had been taking more B6 this month. In the past, I was taking large amounts of it and it made my LUFS really bad. That was 500. This time I was only taking 25, so who knows.

Does anyone know if it would be bad or good to take a trigger shot now? This month is a bust anyway, so I was just hoping to make it go away faster...................

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Updates

It has only been 9 days since my last post and it seem like forever. I have been so busy with school that I don't have time to think about blogging during the week. My students have gotten better and so have I. It takes a  ton of patience to keep them on track. It is exhausting. They are starting to act better. The raffle at the end of the week is a huge hit and it really helps. I am also trying not to let the stress of all the new regulations etc bother me. We just got a new piece of technology that I am excited to try. It was half installed today. It is like a smart board but it is a projector and a stylus that works with your regular dry erase board. This is great bc I can use my regular board with markers or the interactive board with the computer.

Not much else going on. Things have been better with my dh. He is starting to realize that I need some space. IF has probably scared me emotionally for life.

On the cycle news. I am not really sure where I am, I got really lazy about charting. I figured that Wed was just about P+14 so I took a test and it was negative. I was not really surprised. I started to feel like AF was getting near. I had some minor spotting since Tues.  I stopped the progesterone Wed night. It usually take 2-3 days to clear out of my system so I should be due tomorrow.

I am about to finish my 6th chart which means 3 years of charting. UGH I am so tired of charting. I emailed my FCP for more charts. Then she wanted to do an annual review. I emailed her back and told her that I just cannot speak to her about my lack of fertility anymore. I am so burned out about I just cannot do it. it. She emailed me back and I have not been able to open it yet. UGH I am wondering if I really need to bother anymore.

I am almost done with updating my bathroom, which is good. We started it last year and have been working on it piece by piece since then. Last week we finally went to finish putting in the border. Then we discovered that we did not buy enough. I was so mad bc I measured it three times. We were about one whole roll off which I thought was weird. Since we started the border last year, we had most of the bathroom done and then we ran out. I was upset bc that border might be out of print by now. I went online and found it. Then I saw that it said the roll had 15 feet. The roll itself says 12 feet. So it seems that I did measure correctly. The error was the online catalog where I ordered from. The roll just came in, so now we can finally finish that project this weekend.

Huge Fight

I am around P+7, not sure. I kind of stopped charting. I am on the last row of my 6th chart which means I have been doing this for 3 years.. I emailed my FCP for more charts and she never got back to me. Then I got to the point where I was getting burned out on it.

My DH and I got into a huge 3 day fight. It ended with him sending me flowers at work. We have been married for ten years and he has only sent me flowers a few times. That shows how huge this fight was. Basically, I am tired of BD. Being that he is a man, he wants to do it every day. I am burned out on that. Not sure if there is some psychological aspect to being infertile, or if its my age, or hormones, etc 

5 years ago, we had a once a week thing going on. Then when we started TTC we upped it to 3-4 times a week. Sometimes more. Now that it is clear that I will never have a BFP, I want to take a break. Clearly  that was not going to cut it. So we had a fight. The start was the day I had a mole removed from my back. I mentioned that I was not in the mood bc my back was sore. Then he started to try to fix my back problem. I was totally offended that he did not just let me be.

In reality, I would like to take a month off or more to get back the flame, but I know that will never happen. I have been pushing myself the last few years to BD bc I wanted a child. Now  it feels like a chore.

He does not understand that I am just not in the mood at all. I need my space and he won't give it to me. It is getting to the point where I wonder if I want to have a marriage like this. That is how bad the fight was, we started to throw around the D word. I do love him a lot and we get a long so well except for that one topic right now.

I told him that I wanted to make a poll about the freq. He said women would down play and men would exaggerate.

I hate to say it, but if we had kids, we would not have so much free time and we would not have so much alone time. Then he would have to learn to adjust.

New Test Results

If you follow the world of reproductive immunology you know what NK and TNF are. I have been on LDN for 2.5 months so it was time to get another round of immune tests run. LDN is supposed to be anti-inflammatory so I was hoping for great results.

When I got my results: The first one was great. My NK went down to 11. BUT, my TNF went up to 39. YIKES. This is bad. Since I cannot believe that the LDN increased it,  I started to think about all my previous tests. I had 6 done in all. 2 of the 3 times when my TNF was normal I was on progesterone. Then 3 times when it was high  I was always off of it. Now I am not sure if the progesterone was keeping the numbers down. Progesterone is supposed to also be anti-inflammatory.

My napro Dr has been very supportive with helping me get these tests run. I don't want to push my luck, but I think I want to get the test repeated while I am on progesterone. That would be the next two weeks. I am not sure if I can get it scheduled.

ERGH.........................................................

Motivation

A large part of being  a teacher is motivating others to do the right thing. I started to think about my group of silly boys. I realized that I had to change my behavior management system. I told them that starting Monday each person will get a behavior report that will go home. Normally I do not have to do this in middle school, but these boys act like they are in kindergarten. Once I mentioned this, they started to behave better.

Usually when I want the class quiet, I would just say "can I have your attention" or stand up front. Not this year. When I did that they would keep talking and I had to repeat myself. So I had to bring back the"give me five". I raise my hand and they have to raise theirs. This way I can see who is with me and who is not. I can see if they are paying attention. Any group who holds up the class with get  marked off on the behavior report. After doing this a few times, I saw that most kids watched me walk up front and they were ready to go before me. =)

I also decided that I need to step up my rewards. I usually keep a prize box, but now I needed to get prizes better suited to silly little boys such as noise putty, sticky squishy frogs, etc. I went to oriental trading and they are having a special, free shipping and ten dollars off if you spend 75. I was able to get a ton of stuff for $70. I did get a few items for the girls like jelly bracelets. Students earn raffle tickets and we draw prizes on Friday.

I got special 100 dollar bill magnetic bookmarks for those who get 100% on their times tables.They should have mastered their times tables in 3rd grade. By 6th grade they are so important, but most of them do not know them. I found a computer program to test them and drill them. Since school started I have 6 kids who got 100%. Most of them still have a failing grade, so I am hoping that the extra incentive of the special bookmark will get them going. I also told them that the first class to get 5 100% gets a prize. One class got the five. Now I have to get the other class motivated to beat the first class.

Not much going on

School has been back in session for about 3 weeks now. I have not had any time to blog. I also have not had anything exciting to write about. I am having trouble getting back into my routine. I work constantly and feel like I am juggling. It amazes me that I did this all last year. I guess that is why we need the summer off to relax and unwind.

This year is tough bc there is a new evaluation system and a new math curriculum which are both giving me anxiety. My class sizes are large this year and the boy girl ratio is almost two to one. They are very silly and immature. I know that boys are like that, but the girls usually even things out. Half of my new class failed last year's math test. They are having a hard time in math. It is hard to teach them something new when they don't have the foundation skills. I have quite the challenge ahead of me. I love teaching and I love the challenge. It is just hard to do while ttc.

Since school started, I have been so exhausted that I started sleeping through the night. This is now the start of my 3rd month on LDN. I took some immune tests last week. I am waiting for the results to come in.

Last month was a bust I am now on CD8. I am so done with all of this. I did not even go to the clinic last month for US. I don't see the point anymore. I know that I am ovulating etc. It saves me about 100 dollars and the stress of having to take time off. I promised DH that I would try LDN for 4 months. UGH so two more to go.

I have been making lots of sales from my TPT store. That makes me very happy. I also discovered weebly. I made a webpage for my class. I love that site and it is easy to use.

Sorry this post is so boring, but I thought I should do an update.

Back to School

Today was the first day with my new students. Since 6th graders are new to the building, they come in half day for orientation. It was really hot but time flew by. They are all so cute and small. You forget how much they grow in one year. They are also helpless at first. They do not know where anything is and they cannot open their locker. They are also so polite at first. This lasts a short while.

It was great to be back even though it was a busy day. After the kids left, we had two hours of meetings to learn about new government regulations. One was our new teacher evaluation system and the other has to do with reporting bullies.

Then right after school  I had a phone apt with my napro dr. I speak to him every  few months now. At this point, he is out of ideas. It's not his fault. I'm just special. He  gives me support and helps me with medications, tests etc that I want to try. He is wonderful is that way. He told me he would help me until I am ready to stop. I am going to get some more immune tests run to see if the LDN is affecting my NK or my cytokines.

I have been on the LDN for a month and a half. I am still having trouble sleeping. It is not the worst thing ever, but it does affect my whole day.  I am hoping that the test results either show that I shouldn't bother with LDN or that it is helping me. I don't want the gray area. My goal was to try it for  total of four months. I am almost half way. It is weird that I feel tired from not sleeping, but I am not crabby at all. Just zombie like. My DH said that this has mellowed out my mood. Well I am usually mellow over the summer. We have to see if I am still mellow now that school has started and I have a billion things to do and keep track of.

Visiting a Friend for the First Time After She Had Her Baby

Last summer I made a new friend and we were both struggling with IF. Then she had her surgery with the same dr as me and then a few months later she got her bfp. I was truly happy for her, but it was a major sting to me that my surgery did not give me the same result. She was very compassionate about telling me and I was ok with it. I went to her baby shower.

We went to visit them for the first time since she had the baby. He is now 6 months old. I cannot believe how time flies. He was a very mellow baby which helped. We were able to carry on a conversation. I interacted with him. I held him and felt good about it.

Later on she asked me how things were going. All of a sudden I felt extremely shy about it. I did not want to discuss it with her any more. It is amazing bc last summer we were talking all about napro, our surgeries etc. Now I wanted to avoid this topic like the plague. It was awkward that she was sitting there with her baby on her lap while I have no chance of ever having my own.

I have no hope and  talking about it would make me cry, so I just told her ya know the same old situation. Then she asked me about adopting. UGH I was just so uncomfortable. I don't even know what I said. She got the hint eventually and changed the subject. I know that she was trying to be good. She has been very sensitive towards me, but now she is on the other side.

She mentioned getting AF even though she is nursing. She said it is bc her baby sleeps though the night. She is not going back to work.

School starts back up in a few days.We have a new teacher evaluation system starting so I have a lot of meetings during the first two days to learn all about it. I have a lot to do to get ready. My dh said I will feel better once I get back into my classroom with my students. I don't want to get a big head, but I do have some more confidence now that I got that excellent rating. Last year started with a lot of drama. I had a major meltdown. This year, I hope to have a solid calm start.

Good News

This year for the first time teachers will get a growth score that rates how their students did on the state test compared to others students from across the state. They compare each student's score from last year to this year. They used some crazy impossible to understand formula to figure this all out. They decide how much each student should improve and then figure out if they did or not.

Each teacher earns one of four growth ratings (Highly Effective, Effective, Developing, Ineffective) and a growth score from 0-20 points.From stated ed's website "approximately 7% of teachers earned Highly Effective, or student growth was "well above the State average for similar students"; 77% of teachers earned Effective, or student growth "equal to the average for similar students"; 10% earned Developing or "below average growth for similar students"; and 6% earned Ineffective or "well-below average growth for similar students."

 My district has high needs and low resources. This means many of my students are on free lunch. My students also have a lot of challenges at home etc. Teaching them math when their life is unstable is very hard. I love my job and I love the challenge of helping them move forward. I put in many many hours. I tutor kids after school.

I busted my butt all year. When I heard that teachers were getting rated this year, I thought that I better get a good score or I will lose it. This year my students improved from 68% passing on last year's test to 84% this year but who knew if that was good enough or not.

Today I got my score. I did really well. I got 18 which is highly effective. I shed some tears of joy bc I worked so hard. Then my principal told me that only two teachers in our building got this rating. At first I was shocked but then I went home and saw online that it was only 7% of all the teachers in the state, so 2 is actually great for our school.

My first reaction was that I did not want anyone to know. I got thinking that others are going to ask me about my score and what do I say? I started to think about all the negative things that could happen. I guess I got a flashback to high school when you got an award  and someone would call you a nerd. My principal said the scores were private and he was not allowed to tell anyone. Later on parents will be able to request your score and then they could post it on FB if they wanted to.

When I got home and saw only 7% across the state got this rating, my attitude changed. I thought that maybe they should recognize us. Each year there is an award assembly for the whole district. They give out pins etc. Would I really be ok with it? I don't know.

I do think that State ed should have a special dinner and invite all the teachers and give us a certificate. I worked really hard. I want something nice to frame. I don't know if I will be able to get this rating next year so I want to enjoy it now.

I am so exited about this. It was perfect timing to have something nice happen. I could really use this.

Feeling Crabby (Updated)

Today I feel like a real crab. I stopped my progesterone on Friday since I had a BFN. Then I expected AF to come today bc that is how predictable it is once I stop the supplements. Yesterday I had some tiny spotting and I thought great let's get this started and over with. Then the spotting stopped. Hmm that was weird bc it never stops once it starts.

Then last night I had horrible hot and cold flashes on and off all night. I thought ok so it must be starting. I woke up and no AF. I got excited and thought maybe it was implantation spotting so I took another test. BFN again.

Then I had nothing all day until around 3pm. I had some more tiny spotting. Then it stopped. Now I have some more. I am staring to get crabby bc I feel that AF is playing with me. I have never had this issue so of course now I am getting worried that something is wrong. Could it be the LDN? Do I have some new issue?

I did not sleep last night, so that is also making me crabby.I am sure that she is just waiting and hiding and will hit me tonight while I am sleeping. erghhhhhhhhhh

I am wondering how long I can keep up with this lack of sleep.

Updated:

Well, I guess she did not like me talking about her bc AF came back with a vengeance last night.

Completed the First Month of LDN

Today I have been taking LDN for a month. It is also test day.

I am not sure if the LDN is doing anything for my fertility. I will be getting some immune tests done next month to find out. This month was the transition month. I had to ease into this drug by taking 2mg, then 3mg, and finally 4.5 mg.

Every time I upped the dose I had the same symptoms. Crazy vivid dreams that could turn into nightmares. Sleepless nights. I used to always go to sleep right away and would always sleep through the night. This past month has been totally different. I can't go to sleep right away. Then when I do get to sleep, I have dreams or I wake up repeatedly. Some nights I would wake up and then I was totally awake and had to get out of bed and go downstairs.

The weird thing was that I kinda felt tired but not like you would expect.  I was not cranky at all. There was a period of about 2 weeks where I did not sleep, but I was not crabby at all. In fact my dh said that my mood was better. He said that in general I was more even and calmer.

Eventually I could not take the fact that I was not sleeping so I started to take some benedryl post peak. This made it much better. I did wake up once or twice but I was able to get back to sleep.

Now that I am at the end of a month of LDN, my sleeping is starting to get better. Last night was pretty good and I did not take any benedryl.

I had no pms at all this month so at least the LDN did something. 

I took my test today and of course it was negative. I am not sad, I am mad. I have been sticking myself in the belly twice a day all month for nothing.  Also I think the LDN is making me really CSP. I usually have that issue in general, but magnesium makes it all normal. This month has been really bad. I have had to start back on the prunes in addition to the magnesium. UGH

Over 1,000 Page Views Today

 Today I went to check my blog stats and I saw this graph. My first reaction was oh man, I was doing terrible earlier this week. Then I saw that I usually have about 100 visitors each day, which I thought was great. Then I saw that today I had over 1,000. OMG  Of course I had to investigate to see what was so popular.  It was this post  about a website where you can look up food and find out the nutrients in it. I posted that almost a year ago. It was on August 21, 2011. I think it is weird that today so many people found that post, Right????

Today was p+7. There was some drama at the clinic. Which was all me. It was packed today bc there were many men there. I had to wait 45 for a blood draw when they usually take you on time. I noticed that only two women  were called before me. Then when they came out they had US photos in their hands...........UGH so I got really mad that I had to wait behind them, when I would have been done in five min. I know it is stupid, but that's how it is. Then I had to wait all day for the results. They go online to the  patient portal and it usually takes 2 hours. Well they did not post until 4:30 which is closing time, so I think someone forgot to post them.

After waiting all day, I had good numbers so I felt better. My progesterone was 20.6 and my Estrogen was 184. I know that progesterone numbers do not indicate anything about BFPs but I am super excited that my number was that high. That is really good for me. I went back to check my charts. In 2.5 years of charting I have only had a number this high 3 times before today. Two of the three were on PIO. I changed a few things this month and who knows if that affected it. I started LDN and had to take generic prometrium. I started taking lovenox twice a day. At least I can feel comfortable that those changes did not move me backwards. I also had a larger than normal follicle this month which is most likely the culprit.

So to answer the question from the last post, that 21mm follicle was a good thing and it appears that it popped.