Repurposing Syringes for Math Class.

My pms is kicking in. Last night I could not sleep due to hot flashes off and on with cold flashes.I have one large red swollen (look at me) zit right in the middle of my face.

I was at a meeting today when I overheard someone mention a surprise pg. This is her second child and she was commenting about how inconvenient it will be to be large over the summer. OMG I wanted to rip her hair out.  I sat in the car thinking that I just can't do this anymore. I am getting so sick and tired of losing. Thankfully next week is my procedure. I am praying that they find something small enough to make me want to continue or large enough to get me to quit. No more grey areas.

There is part of me that wants to give up but there is another part that tells me try one more time or you will regret it. I got home and saw a comment from TCIE, it was nice and made me feel better. She mentioned also wanting to try everything possible before giving up. Our stories are similar except she has pcos and I have lufs.

I teach math. Today we reviewed customary capacity. Before school, I dug through the recycle bin to find a gallon, quart, pint, and cup sized container. Then I found some that were in between. We pretended it was like the price is right and they had to estimate the size of the mystery containers. They did a great job.

Tomorrow we are going over metric. This is basic bc it is only liter and militer. I rememebr when I was young seeing the eye dropper in the math text book and thinking is it the drop or the whole dropper? We never got to play with a real one to find out. Well since I have been taking so many shots over the past few years, I finally found the answer. One ML is not just one drop it is about 20.  I saved my finished neupogen bottles and I got every last drop out. Then I got some food coloring and put back one ml back in since the bottle's capacity is only one ml. I thought it would be cool to show them how much one ml is in the bottle.

Then I found some unused syringes from when I tried pio shots last year. I was able to unscrew the needle. I cannot belive I ever let my dh stick me with that. The barrel makes a cool plunger and the ml are marked. I will let them use the syringe to try and fill up one liter. Of course after a few minutes they realize 1,000 ml will take all day.  I was glad to be able to repurpose my syringes into math materials.

misc updates

 Yesterday I did a test and it was a BFN. I did not cry this time. I got mad. This month I took  a break from the hard core meds that treat my blood clotting and my NK cells so in my heart I knew it was not going to happen. I was mad bc I keep reading about women who stop their meds and poof magic happens. I was mad that I was not one of those lucky ones. I was mad that I have to continue to torture myself with shots. At the same time I guess I should be thankful that I still have some chance. Then again I am getting to the point where I wish it was black and white and someone could prove to me that I had no chance and should stop.

Next month I am going to get another hysteroscopy done since my last one was 3 years ago. I am trying to remain positive and hope that there is something in there that needs a spring cleaning. I had to make sure the timing was just right since I have to get it done cd 5-10 and my dr only does this on certain days of the week. I am taking my progesterone a few extra days so that everything will line up. Now I just have to pray that we do not get a huge snow storm that week. I am going into the hospital to be sedated, but at least it should be a lot easier to recover from than from a surgery.

My refrigerator has been making noises. I ignored it at first bc I did not want to deal with it. Then it kept up and I started to panic that it would die and I would lose thousands of dollars of meds I have stored in my fridge. My DH called GE, they said they will service up to 25 years old. We had no idea how old it was since it came with the house, but it seemed older. They look up the serial number and found out it was 21 years old. The same age as my furnace. The previous owner was renting the house out before we bought it so we are thinking that they updated the appliances before they got the tenants. The GE tech is coming on Monday so we are hoping that it just needs to be dusted out or have a small fan replaced etc. I do not want to have to buy a new fridge. Mine works just fine. I have a fridge thermometer in it to make sure the temps are ok.

I bought myself some of my favorite ice cream and some hot fudge. The best flavor in the world is Girl Scout thin mint chocolate. I love that kind and it only comes out once a year when they are selling the cookies. So at least I get to enjoy that this week.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Last night I got home and it was 55 degrees in my house. The heat would not come on. My furnace is 21 years old. It was old when we moved in and could not afford a new one. Now we have the money but we don't want to spend it on a furnace unless we have to. We were ready to face the fact that she died. I called the repairman. He came after two hours. In those two hours, we bundled up. Thankfully we had an electric blanket and some items that go in the microwave to heat up. It was not too bad.

He showed up and came right back with an issue. There was a large mouse nest in the furnace. OMG Really?? I was so embarrassed. He said he had never seen one in a furnace but he sees them all the time in the ac units. It was very large. I am glad that it did not catch on fire considering it was made of tons of dried grass clippings from the lawn mower parked next to it. It was near the flame so I guess he was cozy. A few months back we did an extreme clean up of the garage. We took everything out and cleaned. We found a few nests in old boxes of paper that have not been touched in years. We got rid of all the old boxes and got more shelves etc to get things off the ground to to discourage them from staying.  I guess the mice decided to upgrade to that deluxe apt in the sky.

We cleaned out the nest and then he found out that there was no gas coming in. He then tells me that he is all done and I have to call the gas company. I pay him 50 dollars and call the gas company. I found their emergency hot line and they picked up on the first ring. He says they will be there soon, but so did the repairman. The guy arrived 30 min later. I was so happy bc at this point it was around 8 at night. He confirms that there is no gas. Then he goes outside and bangs around and comes back. It seems that the meter died so it shut off the gas. He replaced the meter and then the furnace came back to life. YEAH so I only had to pay 50. I was relieved. The gas guy said I could call the company and get my 50 reimbursed since it was the gas companies faulty meter. YEAH so now it is free.

I told my DH that I was really freaked out about a mouse nest in my furnace so it was really good timing that the meter broke. I have been here for 8 years and I get that furnace cleaned out every year so this is a new thing. I am sure it is just bc I got rid of their other hiding spots. Now I have to find a way to keep them out. He said to put moth balls in there but that did not sound too safe. I may just sprinkle some around the base to keep them out.

What a Great Day!

Yesterday I had a great day!

I woke up and had a pos OPK. I love seeing those two blue lines bc they might just be the only ones I ever see. It is also a reassurance that part of my system is working. This happened on CD15 which is great. That is back to my usual. Last month it was much later due to stress. I took my trigger.

Later on that day my dr's office called and made an apt for next week. I was happy to hear back and have something written down. It was Friday, dress down day, and a pay day, so that just made it even better.

My work situation continues to improve. My boss gave me a compliment on something I did. I had to work on something with the teachers that I had an issue with in Sept. I did a great job collaborating and then I came up with a great idea and everyone loved it. I was so happy to hear that. I enjoy working there and I want to be able to move forward.

After school I was just cleaning my room when my cell phone rings and it was my napro Dr. =)   I told him that I just made an apt to talk with him next week. =)  He is so great. I love the compassion and positive energy in his voice. We spoke about doing the lap surgery. He said that there is a possibility that if he takes away too much tissue I could go into early menopause. Yikes. At this point I am not willing to risk that. Then we talked about how all my napro stats are great. I mentioned the polyps and how I was worried that they may have come back in the past 3 years. He agreed to do the hysteroscopy and also check my tubes. I am so thrilled. I told him that I need to know that my uterus is in top shape before I get into any more medications. The dr that did the last one 3 years ago was not napro so I am excited to have my napro surgeon get a good look and give me his expert opinion.

We also spoke about using nsaids to calm down inflammation. I have heard many people talk about using them. I have always avoided them due to my lufs, since nsaids can make it worse. My Dr said that there is some research that a specific nsaid can help with implantation. He suggested that I only use it post peak after the threat of lufs is over. I also have thick blood, so this will thin it also. I did a google search and found an article on  piroxicam and implantation rates    The implantation rate was 12.3 vs. 7.7% (p-value = 0.04) and the clinical pregnancy rate was 25.5 vs. 10% (p-value = 0.015) in the piroxicam vs. control groups, respectively.  

Even though the article is talking about IVF, we can use this information for non ivf too. It mentioned  prostaglandins which is something people like me with endo have issues with. It said that they can increase uterine contractions and decrease receptivity of embryo and nsaids block prostaglandins. I am going to try this after my procedure.

Frustrations

I have been waiting to hear from my napro dr about whether or not he will do another surgery on me. I am trying to be patient but, it has been driving me crazy. At the end of today I had still not heard from him, so I decided that I would call the office tomorrow.

I get home from work and eat some Kashi cookies. I eat them a lot bc they have chicory in them and this helps with digestion. Then I go upstairs to see about ordering some chicory bc I thought maybe I would just want the pills if I ever get tired of the cookies. Well, Holy crap. I start to see some stuff pop up about how you are not supposed to eat chicory when you are pregnant. They said it stimulates AF to come on and can cause  a mc. Now they did not mention the amount you have to eat, but still OMG. I eat chicory every day. So now I start to freak out but I am running late for zumba. I leave and get to class on time. One of my friends says she tried to call me but it went straight to voicemail. I did not get any message icon. I had to reboot my phone and then I see two missed calls and  text.

After class is over, I find out that my Dr called me TWICE............ERGHHH I was so pissed that I missed his call. I was embarrassed that he wasted his time, when I was there at my phone all along but the stupid thing did not register the calls. Then I listen to his message in the parking lot. He is unsure about this bc he is afraid that if he takes out too much ovarian tissue that I could get hot flashes. Then his second call he said to call him back and then we could discuss it briefly. OMG. So I started to cry. It sounded like he gave up on me. He did not say oh not let's not do surgery bc I have some other great ideas................ugh........I know that I need to talk to him first before I get too upset. I think the chicory thing on top of this made me extra sensitive. I know that he is a great dr and is very conservative and always tells me the worst case scenario so I can make an informed decision. I remember he told me that too much folic acid can cause cancer. That he did scare be but Hot Flashes is another story............I am not sure what to do..............ugh... I may just see about the doing only the hysteroscpy bc I am more worried that my polyps came back......

Now I cannot eat my favorite kashi products bc even if there is a small amount of chicory I cannot take the chance. UGGGGG

 Herbs to Avoid During Preconception and Pregnancy
http://www.leslieoldershaw.com/articles/LOarticle2-herbs-to-avoid.pdf

New ideas?

Today is CD10, so AF already came and went. No surprise there. My DH was sweet this month. I usually do not tell him when I get a bfn, I will just wait for af, I guess I still cling on to that last chance miracle. This time I told him the day I took the test. He came home that night and brought me a rose. It was a sweet gesture. We usually do not even talk about it. This time it was nice to bring it out into the open. We talked about the future. I am getting to the point of hitting another dead end. I have been here before. Last year I was at a dead end with my LUFS and then I found something to treat it and also my immune issues.

My latest plan was to address the blood clotting disorders with lovenox. I did that for three months in a row. I am not sure if it is doing anything. I see the hematologist in March. I am taking this month off from the us monitoring apts, and lovenox This way I can let my body relax from the welts and bruises from the shots and the blood thinners since they have a risk of osteoporosis. I am still going to take the trigger so I do not get a cyst. I will most likely take the progesterone. I need to take a break while I go over my options.

I would like to have another napro surgery. I wrote my Dr. a letter and I am waiting for his call to discuss it with him. I had my endo removed 2 years ago. I had uterine polyps removed 3 years ago. My right ovary is now covered in endo and does not work. I am worried that since it took me two years to discover my immune issue that my polyps came back. I do not even know if my tube is still open. We all know that surgery  can be a game changer for many. My friend had been TTC for 5 years. Then she had surgery and bam 3 months later got pg.

I have also been searching the web for anything else I have missed. I found some information on Ferritin levels. It seems that if your level is too low that can cause infertility and if your level is too high that can also cause infertility. So you cannot just take supplements if you do not know what your level is. I am going to ask to get that tested. My CBC came back normal last week. Your hemoglobin measures your short term iron levels and the ferritin measures your long term storage. Has anyone ever had this checked out? I am the point of checking anything that has even the slightest chance.

I found these articles
http://www.endfatigue.com/health_articles_f-n/Infertility-effective_natural_treatment.html
http://www.irondisorders.org/Websites/idi/files/Content/854256/HHC%20FACT2010.pdf

Then I saw something about thyroid  that sounded just like me. My tests came back normal but yet I have the symptoms below. I know that many women get their thyroid treated and it works. I am not sure if I want to mess around with my thyroid.

• "If you have a tendency to constipation, cold intolerance, dry skin and thin hair, and/or temperatures which run under 98.2 during the day, there is a good chance your thyroid may be slightly underactive despite normal blood tests. In the absence of underlying heart disease, a trial of a low dose of thyroid hormone (e.g. Armour Thyroid 1/2 grain a day) may help you get pregnant and has a low risk of causing problems." 

 My plan for now is to research new ideas and wait to talk with my Dr. I am hoping to have surgery next month, see the hematologist in March and then have a new plan in April.

Jamie's Success Story

Thank you, Jamie for sharing your story.  ________________________________________________________________________________________

How I Ended Up with Two Beautiful Boys through Napro

My ttc journey begins earlier than most’s-before I was even married.  But let me start at the very beginning so you have an appropriate timeline of my various diagnosis and treatments.  In 2000, probably, a cryo surgery done on cervix due to overabundance of mucus producing cells as well as hpv; also always told I had an "angry" cervix or irritated and treated for cervicitis over and over and over again to no avail. Then, in April 2003 I met my future husband and we began dating.   I already knew, at that time, I had endometriosis but doctors wouldn’t not believe me.  My sister had it and I had the symptoms.  I found had the magic symptom that got me treatment (pain during sex) and so then my doc believed me and in June 2003 I had a diagnostic lap done and endometriosis was found and lasered by ob/gyn #1; followed up by 2 lupron shots and some anti hot flash type med for side effects (norethrindrone).  In the summer 2005 I stopped using pill and having premarital sex based on conviction of Catholic church's teaching.  I believe what I had been told, that the pill was good for endo, so once I went off of it, I knew I still needed to keep the endo at bay.  I had many Catholic friends who were charting using the Creighton Model, and they had mentioned it was for health reasons as well so I started charting using CrMS before I was even engaged.  I went to the intro and most of the follow ups by myself.

After charting a few months, I saw a napro trained primary care doc and he wrote me a referral for the “best of the best” he said, Dr. Hilgers.  His referral actually meant my HMO BC/BS had to cover him as in network.  I remember the nurse that wrote the referral said I didn’t really need to go to Omaha if I didn’t want, that there were plenty of good docs here.  Very grateful I ignored her!  It seemed like it took forever for the nurses to call me back and even longer to get the surgery scheduled.  I was very impatient, but good came of my repeated calling! I found out through one of the nurses that there was also such thing as having Dr. Hilgers review my charts.  I scheduled the surgery in Dec. 2005 for April 2006, and in February I received the letter back with additional recommendations.  Some meant I would expand my stay in Omaha (for an ultrasound series) and expand what would be done during my surgery, and the hormone series was something I could do at home and then send in to Omaha.  Dr. Hilgers said I didn’t have to do them right away, since I wasn’t married, it was really my call.  However, I received the letter just a few days after being proposed to began the hormone series draws immediately. 

In April 2006 I spent 2 weeks in Omaha, mostly for the ultrasound series that followed ovulation.  I also had a hysteroscopy, laporoscopy, selective hsg, biopsy and culture, all during my surgery.  I got diagnoses with several things through this process-all were correctly and immediately diagnoses as a result and all were immediately treated.  I was diagnosed with low pre and post peak progesterone, low estrogen, lutenized unruptured follicle syndrome, T3 problems, ureaplasma urealycticum (an infection, a mycoplasma), polycystic ovaries (but not the syndrome?), endometriosis, and factor V leiden (heterozygous).  The treatment for this mountain of problems could have been seen as equally intimidating: I was on 25 mg clomid on days 3,4, and 5, 2000 units hcg shots post peak days 3,5, 7, and 9. T3-22.5mcg 2x daily, B6 daily, 500 mg amoxicillian (3x daily) on CD 11-15, and mucinex CD 15-peak plus 3. 2 weeks of doxycycline for DH and I and baby aspirin per my local ob/gyn.  I must say, though overwhelmed, I felt incredibly proactive.  It always feels good to be doing something toward your problems.  I knew I was in great hands and would easily have paid out of pocket for it all, should it have come to that.

In Aug. 2006, I got married and we began actively ttc.  I did cycle reviews monthly on the phone with Pope Paul VI and did Peak plus 7 blood draws for estrogen and progesterone.  The meds were tweaked a little over time.  The first change was Dr. Hilgers halved my hcg after a side effect (my hands got red, felt hot and swollen), so 1000 units.  Had two cycles where I mistakenly used the SF instructions for avoiding rather than achieving.  Third cycle I corrected the error and, low and behold, we got pregnant!  Unfortunately, Dec. 21st, 2006 we had a miscarriage at 10 weeks (Michael).  During the preg I got regular hcg draws, reg ultrasounds, and reg blood draws for prog.  I was on max dose prog shots during pregnancy.  After the miscarriage, my blood work indicated low post peak estrogen. Dr. Hilgers added estrace 2mg P+3-12 (started with 1mg, needed more).  

 However, I do know now that I should not have been on estrogen with factor V, as a  precaution.  We tried again to achieve a pregnancy and were successful on our 2^nd cycle trying (after the break Dr. H asked us to take to heal).  That baby was Gabby and she was conceived on July 23^rd, 2007.  After this we decided to have a consult with Dr. H (Aug 2007).  We learned he highly suspected that our infection was to blame.  I had good prog levels medicated, but TEBB brown blood was persistent.  He suggested a longer dose of orals for husband and myself, based off the work of Dr. Toth.  We read up on Dr. Toth and did a phone consult.  Dr. Toth agreed with Dr. Hilgers’ assessment and so we complied and took 21 days of biaxin, then first 10 days of each cycle ttc. 

In Jan 2008 we conceived our son after 3 cycles of trying. Immediately got on 10 day ambulatory IV of clindamyacin per Dr. Toth.  We did this locally.  As with other pregnancies, took prenatals, baby aspirin, T3 until Dr. Hilgers discontinued around week 28, progesterone levels drawn every 2 weeks before due and shots 1-2x/week, amt dependent on results. I had no antibiotics  during pregnancy other than IV. None (as in zero) intercourse during pregnancy.  In March 2008, while pregnant, we did Infection followup testing in NY for husband and I and we got clean bills of health on all accounts.  I continued Chlamydia (CT PCR) testing 2 more times-one done locally and mailed to DT for results and one done locally and run locally).  On Oct. 8, 2008 I delivered Charles Raph.ael, who was  7 lbs 80z, 19 inches, had IV during delivery for good measure.

I nursed him one year and didn’t get my cycle back until Oct. 25th, 2009.  Cycle returns. First two I wait, 2nd get blood work (estrogen and progesterone at P+7), 3rd medicated, and 4th get go ahead to try to conceive.
                On Feb. 14th, 2010 we conceived our second son on the 1st cycle trying use all same protocols with Charlie; get IV after hcg doubles. Saw heartbeat on 3/17/10. This time there was a new Dr. Toth protocol.  We continued orals (10 days worth) every 8 weeks throughout pregnancy (new this time-and no PCR testing) and still do IV at delivery; again no intercourse at all.   On Nov. 11, 2010 Anthony James was born at 12:30am, after a quick delivery.  He was past his due date, water broke day before scheduled induction around 4:30pm on the 10th.   He was 8 lbs 10 oz, 20 " and very healthy!  I nursed him a year as well and my cycle returned exactly one month after I quit, to the day, Dec. 11, 2011.  Dr. Hilgers has repeated my thyroid panel and added .075mcg of Synthroid due to a low T4.   I will retest in 6 weeks.  I will not go back on post peak estrogen support due to my Factor V diagnosis, so we will see what the future holds.  For now, I am grateful for what I do have, two beautiful boys thanks to Dr. Hilgers’ work! 

                This file was updated 12.31.11.  To see where I am currently in my ttc journey, and also for resources, help and support around Naprotechnology and working with Dr. Hilgers long distance, please see my blog: http://tool4god-myjourneywithgod.blogspot.com/