Saturday, January 28, 2012
misc updates
Yesterday I did a test and it was a BFN. I did not cry this time. I got mad. This month I took a break from the hard core meds that treat my blood clotting and my NK cells so in my heart I knew it was not going to happen. I was mad bc I keep reading about women who stop their meds and poof magic happens. I was mad that I was not one of those lucky ones. I was mad that I have to continue to torture myself with shots. At the same time I guess I should be thankful that I still have some chance. Then again I am getting to the point where I wish it was black and white and someone could prove to me that I had no chance and should stop.
Next month I am going to get another hysteroscopy done since my last one was 3 years ago. I am trying to remain positive and hope that there is something in there that needs a spring cleaning. I had to make sure the timing was just right since I have to get it done cd 5-10 and my dr only does this on certain days of the week. I am taking my progesterone a few extra days so that everything will line up. Now I just have to pray that we do not get a huge snow storm that week. I am going into the hospital to be sedated, but at least it should be a lot easier to recover from than from a surgery.
My refrigerator has been making noises. I ignored it at first bc I did not want to deal with it. Then it kept up and I started to panic that it would die and I would lose thousands of dollars of meds I have stored in my fridge. My DH called GE, they said they will service up to 25 years old. We had no idea how old it was since it came with the house, but it seemed older. They look up the serial number and found out it was 21 years old. The same age as my furnace. The previous owner was renting the house out before we bought it so we are thinking that they updated the appliances before they got the tenants. The GE tech is coming on Monday so we are hoping that it just needs to be dusted out or have a small fan replaced etc. I do not want to have to buy a new fridge. Mine works just fine. I have a fridge thermometer in it to make sure the temps are ok.
I bought myself some of my favorite ice cream and some hot fudge. The best flavor in the world is Girl Scout thin mint chocolate. I love that kind and it only comes out once a year when they are selling the cookies. So at least I get to enjoy that this week.
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I am sorry. I really do like hysterscopes though...will you be taking an antibiotic afterwards? It was the cycle after my hysterscope that I conceived Toddler A so, I really think they are very important as well.
ReplyDeleteHow do you monitor your ovulations?
Little JoAnn
Hello JoAnn, Thanks for the info. They found polyps three years ago so I am wondering if they grew back. Yes, I will be taking an antibiotic after. As for monitoring ovulation. Since I have lufs, I get ultra sounds done to check.
ReplyDeleteYou know ... I wish I would be told whether I had a chance to become pregnant too ... or stop trying. I keep thinking "well, at least I wouldn't waste my time." If only!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your delicious ice cream! I LOVE me some mint Anything!
There's a certain peace that will come (and I pray that your treatments do lead you to a pregnancy, but just in case... good to know it's not the end of the world) if/when you stop treatments after doing EVERYTHING. You are in the midst of everything I was doing at a certain point, and while it is still difficult, I can safely say now that knowing all these untreated diagnoses, I "can" stop and know that there's nothing more I can do or should do.
ReplyDeleteYour writing reminds me a lot of myself, and I think a lot of your mission is to make sure that you've done all there is to do. You are a fighter, and this is honorable :)
Keep trusting. God has your best interests in mind. Best of luck with the hysteroscopy, I'll be praying!