2010 Recap and Goals for 2011

 

2010

Other stuff (Not as much as TTC. It seems that my life is consumed by it. Hopefully I will remember some more stuff to add here. I started out with two items and then decided I had to add more.)

• Traveled down to see the national Shrine of St. Gerard. (hmm never posted about that either)
  

                                                


My furbaby Thor, went to heaven. We had him for about 8 years. He was great.He loved to come out of his cage and run around. He loved carrots.

• Went kayaking on  a river for the first time. We did a four hour long trip. It was awesome and so peaceful. Just the two of us going down this long river in the middle of trees. A welcome break from all the insanity.(hmm I never posted about that one. Maybe I should)

Had a great harvest from my garden.Raspberries, Tomatoes, and green beans.

•  Donated my hair to Pantene beautiful lengths and got a really nice letter back from them.
• Made almost $500 dollars on Teachers Pay Teachers. It is really an honor to have other teachers pay to download the materials I made.  I keep my prices down as low as I can but still make a profit . I spend a lot of time making the items that I post and it does take time to post them.
• I hand made a blanket for my napro Dr who had his 4th child. I love to crochet blankets. I learned from my mother. I should make a post about them and include the photos. I am working on new one right now.
• Decided to get off of dairy. I was mostly successful. I only broke down and had some on a few occasions. 

TTC

• Started Napro This was wonderful because a few months earlier I was told by the RE that nothing else could be done except IVF and I had unexplained infertility.
• Had surgery number 4: Laproscopic  and found out that my Endo came back and was worse than it was a year ago when the RE lasered it out.
• Had surgery number 5 which was Laparotomy #2 to remove all endo. This one was a piece of cake compared to the first one. What a difference the dr makes. 

• Discovered that I have LUFS. Spent the rest of the year trying to find treatment but nothing worked. Then at the end I found a research study from Japan that looked promising. My Dr was very uneasy about trying something experimental. So I spent a lot of time looking for a Dr who would try.
• Just when everything looked like I was at the end of my journey, I discovered a new forum about reproductive immunology and saw the name of a Dr who works with G-CSF. I sent him a letter a few days ago and will hopefully start treatment with him soon.
• Joined the yahoo catholic infertility forum. Thank you to all the wonderful ladies on there who have shown me great support and are always there to answer questions. There are so many wonderful women on there, I cannot keep track.
• I met some great women on the Fertility Ties forum last year. There are seven of us in the group.Two of the women had babies this year, one is pregnant now, and two of them are in the process of adoption.
• I started this blog last spring. At first I started out with a desire to just list information about napro and try to help others in my situation. After months of disappointment, I started to come out of my shell and talk about some of my personal feelings. I still hold most of them back, but this has been a great way to get my feelings out.
• I have met many great women becuase I have signed up to follow their blogs. It has been a privilege  to follow their stories of infertility, pregnancy, or daily life. Some of them now have babies and I look forward to reading about them and seeing pictures.

 Goals for 2011

• work with the reproductive immunology Dr in cooperation with my Napro Dr and finally get the correct treatment.
• know the right path to take whether it be to continue with treatments, file for adoption, or both.
• focus on being healthy with exercise and diet.
• spend more quality time with my DH and enjoy our lives.

What a rollercoaster ride!

Oh man where to start? My life is one huge roller coaster. Yesterday I went in for my P+7 bw. I did not take any triggers this month, so I know that it would not be ideal. WHen I got the results my heart sank. I usally have progesterone around 15. This time is was 3.5 OUCH REALLY? The only other time it near that level was August when I also did not take the trigger. So maybe the triggers actually did  something? but then I never got pregnant so they did not do enough. My estrogen was also really low 25!!! SO I got really depressed and did the two things I do when I get bad news. I eat junk and then I spend all day doing Internet research. Yesterday I found nothing and gave up. Today I sat here for about 3 hours straight-no lie and finally found something good! Oh man so now my pulse is racing and I am up again.....I am used to being up and down so I try to enjoy the up before I crash again.

I found a yahoo forum based on reproductive immunology. There were many posts about using G-csf! This is the drug from that study in Japan that said it can cure LUFS, the one my Dr is too chicken to try. So I started to read all the posts. Most of the interest was using the drug to prevent implantaion failure, but there was a huge interest. At first everyone lamented over the fact that no dr would use this drug.  Then there was a woman who found a dr, used the treatment, and got pregenat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Cow. This Dr is in NYC. I checked out his webpage. The only downside is that he does do IVF, but I won't do that with him. I just want his to give me the drug that might cure me..........
So now I am trying to calm down and not be too impulsive. My current Dr who I love and have been with this whole year has been dragging his heels. Do I contact this new Dr first or wait to see what my  current dr says? Oh man. I cannot wait....
I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!

New Articles Written About Napro Technology

I just found some new articles written about Napro Technology.

12/26/10 Families Gather to Celebrate Life PPVI Institute     Catholic Voice Online
   9/3/10 Bishops Urged to Support NaProTechnology         Zenit
    9/3/10 Paul VI Institute Founder Asks, Why Me?            Zenit 

    9/9/10 Conference: In Vitro Isn't the Only Option            Zenit

  9/23/10 Technology and Truth                                         Catholic New York

Gianna Healthcare Center for Women at Saint Peter’s University Hospital:

The Gianna Healthcare Center for Women at Saint Peter’s University Hospital (New Jersey) is now open.
http://www.saintpetershcs.com/GiannaCenter/
New Hope for infertility Flyer
Brochure

Gianna – The Catholic Healthcare Center for Women
254 Easton Avenue
New Brunswick, NJ 08901
Phone: 732-565-5490
Fax: 732-792-3038
www.saintpetershcs.com/giannacenter

Hair Donation

Last month I donated 9 inches of my hair. It took me a year and a half to grow it long it enough. Since all the disappointment and sadness of not being able to have a baby, I set out a while back with this goal in mind. I wanted to be able to have some control over my body and be able to help others in need. It was easy at first, but then towards the end, I had to struggle with not cutting it. It was too long to manage and I really felt the sacrifice I was making for another person.
Today I received a letter from Pantene, where I sent my hair. It was so nice to know that they got it and that they were able to use it. Here is a copy of the letter.
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On behalf of Pantene Beautiful Lengths, with heartfelt appreciation, we thank you for giving so selflessly of yourself to women who are faced with hair loss from cancer treatment.
Your healthy ponytail will help give self confidence back to a special woman who is battling cancer so that she can fight the disease with a little more dignity. Your generosity is touching and we hope it will inspire many others to make the kindest cut of all.
As you may already know, it takes roughly six ponytails to make one Pantene Beautiful Lengths wig. Your donation will be joined with five others and transformed into a high-qua1lty,Real-hair wig"by HairUWear®, our campaign partner and the leading global producer of real-hair wigs and extensions.
We are also honored to work closely with the American Cancer Society®. The American Cancer Society distributes Pantene Beautiful Lengths wigs, at no cost, to female cancer patients, through its extensive network of nationwide wig banks. If you are interested in finding out more about this program and the incredible difference that it is making, please visit www.beautifullengths.com.
Together, we can help bring some joy into the lives of women living with cancer.
Kind Regards,
Pantene Beautiful Lengths

My Birthday and other stuff

My 34th birthday was on Friday. I was dreading it for a while. When you are struggling with IF, every birthday means that your eggs are one year older too. So when the day finally came, it turned out that I actually enjoyed it. My students found out and were all excited that it was my birthday. They made me little signs and cards. They are so filled with joy for birthdays, how could I be sad? My dh gave me some nice presents and we went out to eat. It was nice to spend time together and just relax. I had a temporary break from the madness that I am drowning in.
No new news on the TTC front:
I decided to not go in for any more US this month. I am not taking the triggers bc they do not work. This is the first month in a long time that I am not doing OPK. I am still doing my charts. So I am slowing down, but I cannot just give up yet.
I am starting to get the feeling that the RE blew me off. It has been about 3 weeks since I wrote him. I am giving him a month and then I am going to make an apt to see him. I also have to see if my napro Dr is going to officially turn me down for that new treatment or not. He told me to talk to him after Christmas. So more waiting. This has been the longest month ever.

UGHH

It has been two weeks since I wrote my RE about that Treatment. It seems like so much longer. I have not heard back. MY DH says no news is good news. I have no idea if this DR is even in the office and has seen my letter or not. So uggggghhh on that. I decided to give it a month and then request a phone consultation after the new year to discuss this.
There has also been some drama with my ovary. I went to the clinic for a CD4 scan. She said the mass on my ovary was bigger. It looked bigger to me, but it is hard to eyeball size. So I spoke to my napro Dr. I am still getting it remeasured next month at a real US place to see if it grew. It not then yeah it is most likely a hemorrhagic cyst. If it got bigger then it might be a tumor. He said that infertile women can just get tumors and it does not mean cancer. The problem is if it keeps growing then I will have to have another surgery to take it out.....I have had 5 so far. I do not want anymore. He is also having me take a blood test for ovarian cancer antibodies just to see. He said that having endo could make the number higher than zero so this test may not tell us anything.
So here I am waiting like always. Waiting to hear back from the RE, waiting to see what is going on with my ovary.
I am not taking any triggers this month. We have come to the sad conclusion that they do not work. So unless I am able to try that other med from Japan my journey is over.

Waiting to find a Dr to take a chance on me.

I have gotten used to waiting. Waiting over 3 years to have a baby. Waiting every month in the 2ww.
Now I am in limbo and I am having a very hard time waiting because I do not know how long I have to wait to find out one way or the other. I contacted my RE by letter last week. I asked him to treat me with the medicine I found in that study from Japan. He has not gotten back to me yet. My current Napro Dr. told me to talk to him about it in January, but he is still undecided.
So here I am waiting to see if there is a Dr willing to take a chance to try this medicine. A medicine that may not even solve my problem. I can't believe that I have to put so much effort into getting someone to take a chance on me. If these two say no, then I have to keep looking for someone else. This will be the last thing I could try before giving up and accepting defeat.