LUFS Returns

Friday was CD1. I was on the fence about whether or not to chart, go into the clinic etc. My dh and I had a long talk about it. Somehow I  talked myself back into giving it another try. We agreed to give it everything. I even had an unused box of repronex that I have been too chicken to try. The fear was not multiples, the fear was lufs. We agreed at this point to just go for it.

Being that today was Monday and it was now CD4, I had to go in for baselines. I had not been to the clinic in two months. I decided to pop in at 7:45 am. They told me they could squeeze me in for a quick US. Well, an hour later, I started to freak out. I told them I had to go to work and that I had to come back later. She said that 10:45 was all clear and I would be all set then.

I get back there at 10:45 and wait, wait, wait. OMG everyone who came in after me went in. Someone even came in at 11:15 with an 11:15 apt and went in before me. They finally take me in around 11:20. I should have been back to school by 11:27. The school clock is a little off so I had another 5 min or so. I knew I would be late.

I finally get  the US and OMG there is a HUGE MONSTER CYST. It was over 5cm. It took up the whole screen. I think it was bigger than my uterus. So I waited all day, was going to be late and now I had that sucker staring at me. Now, I am on the bench. I drive back to school like a maniac and of course I am late.

ERGHHH so now I have mixed emotions. I am annoyed that I bothered to go into the clinic today, but glad I found out about the cyst. I really wanted a break, so I was glad to be on the bench, but I was mad that it was not my choice. I went back and forth. 5cm is huge. The nurse was shocked that I was not feeling it.

Then I was mad at myself for being lazy and not going to the clinic the last two months. I did not take my trigger this past moth, bc I was lazy and missed my OPK. It was early so I thought maybe I was normal. Well I guess I am not normal and I still have LUFS. I have to be gratelful that for the past year or so I have been able to treat my lufs with the trigger and the neupogen. I am also wondering how much my lack of neupogen and additon of LDN aggravated my LUFS.

I have had LUFS in the past of 2-3 cm. BUT 5cm is so large that something must have kept feeding it. When I used that language my DH laughed. I guess it goes with my monster theme. It was so black and hollow that I am worried it is still active. I had been taking more B6 this month. In the past, I was taking large amounts of it and it made my LUFS really bad. That was 500. This time I was only taking 25, so who knows.

Does anyone know if it would be bad or good to take a trigger shot now? This month is a bust anyway, so I was just hoping to make it go away faster...................

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH