I have a confession to make. I gave into the TTC temptation and I regret it. Now that I am over it, I can write about it. I am much happier now that it has passed.
A few months back when I was just about ready to get approved to adopt, someone who I never thought would get pregnant did. It was a miracle for her. I was truly happy for her. But then it hit me. I had accepted that some women just don't get pregnant for unknown reasons. She was one of them. It threw me off that she finally got pregnant after years of not trying anymore. She did two things differently. One her DH got some testosterone treatment and the other was to take a supplement.
I could not control the urge to try something new. So I took the same supplement in hopes that it would be my miracle cure. The first month seemed fine. I had a 28 day cycle and no symptoms. The next cycle was crazy and I had symptoms to make me ponder. I had mid cycle spotting. Then I had intense sore nipples in the 2ww. I mean they were out of control. I was in so much pain. They could have cut glass. I started to have some early spotting, but then AF came on day 25.
I was going to try the supplement for the third month, but then I decided that it was enough. I was tired of riding the roller coaster. I stopped the supplement and then I realized that it had made me incredibly constipated. I usually battle that issue, but once I stopped the supplement I was so regular and I started to get my appetite back. I heard my stomach growl for the first time in a while. AF came again on day 25. This month my nipples were not sore at all.
I know you are thinking that having no appetite is great, but for me it makes me gain weight bc when I am not hungry I don't want to eat anything healthy. I ate a lot of ice cream, bread, and other junk food and gained 15 pounds. I have lost 5 this month.
I also got an email last week about a possible case. I will write about that in my next post.
Yup feeling the temptation to get back on the train lately. I have a blood test and u/s tomorrow and I'm thinking "why am I doing this again?" I know they are both needed for health reasons but I am having flashbacks of charting, progesterone, blood draws and cycle reviews. I think it's also been because our dear friends who have been trying as long as we have are due at the end of Nov. and we are still healing from our failed adoption at the end of May.
ReplyDeleteI too am tempted at the idea of finding a "magic" solution. Not that you did anything wrong! But I get the rollercoaster of emotions when you're trying something that might be "the" solution. It's so tough. Prayers!
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