Dh called me today during work and said the SW called him. I got really excited until he said that the bm chose another couple. On the bright side at least the SW called us this time and we did not have to wait to call her.
This one hit me really hard. I feel the sadness and disappointment of a bfn. The bm was due at the end of the school year which is perfect timing for me. I tried for years to have this happen on my own. Every year when it would line up I would get excited and then nothing happened. Today I got slapped in the face again.
We did not get any calls for two months and then this was over in a flash. Who knows when the next chance will come along? I am getting really discouraged. I am losing my patience. I want to take all the money I have saved for this adoption and just run away to the Caribbean.
I wanted to give the sw a few months to see how many cases we got. Now I am starting to wonder how much I need to start advertising on my own. I didn't really want to do this for many reasons, but now I worry that I have to.
Friends and family are starting to get discouraged too bc they don't understand how this works. They are complaining to me that this is taking too long and that really annoys me. I am trying to keep my cool but I want to yell profanities at them.
I know that disappointment all to well. Actually you have gotten quite a few calls from your s.w! More than us! On the outside, people think adoption is so easy and it happens quickly. It does not. Our friends just adopted a 2 year old from Korea...they knew about her when she was born. They had to wait 2 years to bring her home! Can you imagine? She's actually the sibling to one of the boys they adopted five or six years ago. No one knows when they sign up with an agency how long the wait will be. From what other's have said, the wait is worth it when you get your baby. I bet it is...just until then..hang on!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry; it is so frustrating waiting. You never know what is better. Just waiting for the call that there is actually a baby waiting for you to be picked up or getting the calls from the social worker when you will be presented to a potential birth mom. Adoption has changed so much since we adopted 29/26 years ago but what I do remember wondering if it will ever happen and then one day out of the blue it did. Try not to get discouraged as hard as it is to just wait.
ReplyDeletebetty
So sorry about the wait and that y'all were not chosen :( It is so tough. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. :( Not matching really does hurt a ton. And I'm sorry that family and friends are not helping. Sending hugs!
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