Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Online Portal

WHOOHOO I am so excited. I just got an email that they accepted my pre application. I also got my access code for the online portal. YEAH. I feel so official.

There is a huge form to fill out online but I can work on it and save the draft as I go. She told me that it was equal to 6 printed pages. I had to take a quick look. I know 99% of what they want, so I should be able to hammer this one out this weekend.

The portal is really cool. I have been assigned my own specialist. There is a check list and it shows which steps I have completed and what is next. LOVE IT.

I hope you are going to be excited with me too as I check items off of my list.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

First Form in the Mail

This past cycle was 26 days long. Woohoo. I will take it. I think last month was 32 days. This is my second month in a row off of progesterone. In the past when I was off of it, I would have a 21 days cycle. In  my new attempt to move on, I wanted to break free from all fertility meds if possible.

My cycle was very light which is also a bonus. I only had one heavy day where you have to watch what you wear and do etc.  Zero cramps. YEAH!!! So if I am going to be IF at least I will be able to brag about my great AF...HAHAHAHHA Don't worry I won't post that one to FB. =)

I am doing pretty good with moving on....I still think this will take time. I am very excited but I have to admit that I did cry about it once this month..... Hey I am getting better....small steps.

We mailed in our first form with a check of $50. I have to admit that I held out until AF showed just in case....This is the pre-application form. Once they get this I will get access to an online portal and will then fill out a 6 page online form.

I have not told my mom yet. I am not sure why. I guess for normal people when they get a BFP, they wait a little while to tell people. I guess I still cannot believe it it real. Maybe I want to make a special announcement???? I kinda feel like this is some sort of  adoptive parent BFP, where I am really excited but not sure that this will happen or not. So I'm not ready to to tell too many people yet. Thinking about how and when I will tell everyone etc.

When I have told my friends they have been supportive. They are getting me pumped up about feeling hopeful and excited. I have joked with them about needing to hold fundraisers....but I was serious. This is going to be expensive so I have to start thinking about what I want to do.

One of my co-workers who wants to adopt asked for maternity leave and was denied. I was shocked and could not believe that they would discriminate like that. Our contract and our state does not mandate paid maternity leave. Our school has always allowed women to take sick time up to 6 weeks paid. I just assumed I would be able to use my time. I have been saving my time for years to use for a maternity leave. This is another reason why I am not ready to go totally public.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

New Garage Door

We bought our house ten years ago and it was a fixer upper. Every year we made a large improvement. Recently this pace had to slow down due to money being used for treatments.

My mom gave us some money last month. She said that she was probably not going to have to pay for a baby shower like she did for my sister so she wanted me to have the money.....YIKES I know. She was trying to be nice, but it still burned.  I did not tell her that I was going to start the adoption process. In fact she offered the money right around the same time. I was going to drop it all in the adoption fund, but we had been saving for awhile and I thought we could use some for ourselves now.

I decided to get a new garage door. Yep I am very excited about this. The old one was original to the house. It was rotting and the opener was totally busted. We even had to lock the door with a bicycle chain lock. It looked terrible from the outside too. Rodents were getting in without even trying.

When we realized we could afford to do it, I was so excited. It was also nice to want something and know that you can have it. It was expensive bc it was all rotted and we had to gut the whole thing out and start over. This included the door frame.

Once we moved all the stuff out of the way for them to install it, I realized that I had never in ten years painted the walls. OMG they were black with dirt. It was a nice day over the weekend, so I was able to open the door. I painted the walls bright white. It was so great. Now it looks so nice and clean. I have a keypad outside where I can open the door. It closes on its own. It is very quiet. The door locks and unlocks with the touch of a button. It is such a luxury.

I am very grateful to be able to fix this. I am trying to make sure that I stop and think about the things that I do have and not the ones that are missing from my life.

I am still giddy when I press the button to open or close the door.  I am trying to focus on being happy and living in the moment.

I have been pretty good about not staring at bellies. I caught myself a few times. I am honestly starting to be ok with this and accepting my fate. I am much happier for the moment.

When someone tells me that someone is PG or just gave birth, my response is still, ok great. But hey small baby steps.

My DH wanted one month to sit with the adoption forms and really think about this commitment. We are going to fill out the initial form this weekend. =)

Let this crazy journey begin!!!!!