I have one friend who is waiting to adopt. She shared a link to a local adoptive families group. At first I was hesitant. I finally decided to mail in my membership form and go to the next event.
The had a picnic. I asked DH to go. He said sure and we put in on the calendar. Last weekend was the big day. We showed up at a local park and saw a bunch of children playing. That is when he turns to me and asks if we will be the only ones without kids. I had no idea, so we made a plan to go and wing it.
We showed up and were instantly welcomed by the head of the group. She pointed us to the "waiting area." There were 3 other couples who were waiting. We walked over and made instant connections. It was weird but comfortable at the same time. Of the four couples two had been to the group before and two of us were first timers. We ate lunch at spoke about some things, but I also felt like there was a wall. Everyone was nice, I had to hold back tears a few times, and we never really spoke about anything too personal.
None of these couples were using my agency so at least I don;t have to worry about the awkwardness of competing. One of the couples had been waiting a long time. She did not say how long, and I thought it might be rude to ask, she just said a long time. When I went home, I found her profile online and she was the first one listed which means she had been waiting the longest.
She asked all of us if we had set up a nursery. Two said yes, two said no. I said no. They said that their agency required them to have a pack and go and a car seat bc you might get a call last minute. I thought about the car seat, that is a good idea. DH said that you could just buy whatever you need that day. I have not bought anything yet. Maybe once I am active.
They also mentioned having a list of names. I said I gave up thinking about names years ago. I tried to be careful and not sound negative and not cry.
I really enjoyed reaching out and talking with others going through the same crisis as me. They said that they meet once a month for coffee and are thinking about starting a men's group. I really hope they do bc dh could really use other men to talk to about this.
One woman asked us about taking infant CPR and infant care classes. The thought never crossed my mind. I guess when you are pregnant you sign up for classes like that through your hospital. She said that she was going to check places that would take group members so that we don't have to sit through all the pregnancy stuff that we don't need or can't handle.
I told her that I loved her attitude. She said that there are days when you can handle stuff like that and days that you can't. She said the same thing about this picnic. She was not sure if others could handle coming. I told her that I wanted DH to see how happy fathers are with their adopted kids.
After the picnic, I felt rejuvenated. I wanted to have what those parents had. I wanted a child and I was ready to go back into the ring.
I finally started my profile book. That was a really hard thing for me to start. I will write about that next time.