Saturday, November 23, 2013

Stuck on Step 4

 A week went by and I never heard back from the adoption agency. I called on Monday and asked if they got my online application. The woman checked her computer and said yes. She was not overly friendly, she was in business mode and I could tell she wanted to get me off the phone. I asked her what is next. She said I had to be approved but that woman has been out on vacation so she would check on Tues and get back to me.

I tried to continue the conversation so I  asked her about the next step (form, medical, fingerprints) that I had listed on my checklist. I wanted to get info so I could start doing that now. She said the forms come from the state so I cannot do them until after my online form gets approved. That was the same story with the finger prints and medical. UGH. She was not very giving with info. I still have no idea how long it will take to get approved.

I waited all week and they never called me back. UGH. Then I get an email that they posted a charge to my account. I went online to the portal and they charged me $450. I knew from my checklist that I would have to pay this amount, but I am not sure if this means I have been approved or that I have to pay this amount first before they will even look at me. It was confusing.

We decided to take a few days to calm down.  I decided to have my DH call on Monday early in the day with some specific questions.

While I am filled with  hope that some day I will bring home a baby, I am still having a hard time accepting the idea that others will judge my ability to be a parent. I am scarred from my IF and the feeling of failure has dug deep inside of me. I am fearful that I will not be good enough. I am anxious to get this investigation over with so I will know where I stand. I understand that these regulations are for the benefit of the child, but it has been hard on me personally. I am a sensitive person.


  1. Maybe you can talk to someone higher up and explain your frustration. People in that business need to be patient, understanding and compassionate (which is why I could never work there). When we adopted from China it only took a year from paperwork sent in to match/flight/adoption. I hear now it takes 5 years. Ugh. Hang in there, wish I had better advice.

  2. Thanks for the thoughts. I am having my DH call on Monday bc he will be calmer. Yep they told me that the laws have changed over seas so that international adoption takes a lot longer than it used to. I was going to do that originally but now that I am almost 37, I don't have the time. I am going with domestic.

  3. The waiting is KILLER!!! For the people who schedule appointments / do the adoption paperwork part, they just do NOT understand that even a week delay (ok, even a few DAYS) is such a long time! I remember starting our paperwork and I swear to you it took forever for it to all happen. I was in such a hurry. (I know you are too!) Patience is not a virtue of mine, and I don't think it is for anyone waiting to become a mother. I am praying for you daily, as adoption is near and dear to my heart. I continue to ask Mary to guide you on the steps it takes to motherhood. She will take good care of you! Keep persevering! Don't let those grumpy / indifferent people along the way get you down. You can, and WILL, get through this!!!

    1. Thank you for cheering me on. I am scarred from being if. The fear of failure has stuck. I am just worried that I am not going to be good enough. I understand that all these regulations are for the benefit of the child bc there are wierdos out there. I have just spent so many years taking it slow to make sure I am ready and now I have run out of patience. I am sure that the social worker was just having an off day and I had PMS when I called. I know that once my paperwork is all in then I will have to wait a long time, so I want to get it done asap. Thank you for understanding. The lack of control is really hard for me.

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. So sorry for the frustrations! Prayers that things go more smoothly in the future.


Thank you for stopping by. I love getting comments. You may also send me a private message if needed. I had to turn the word verification back on due to way too much spam.