Dh called me today during work and said the SW called him. I got really excited until he said that the bm chose another couple. On the bright side at least the SW called us this time and we did not have to wait to call her.
This one hit me really hard. I feel the sadness and disappointment of a bfn. The bm was due at the end of the school year which is perfect timing for me. I tried for years to have this happen on my own. Every year when it would line up I would get excited and then nothing happened. Today I got slapped in the face again.
We did not get any calls for two months and then this was over in a flash. Who knows when the next chance will come along? I am getting really discouraged. I am losing my patience. I want to take all the money I have saved for this adoption and just run away to the Caribbean.
I wanted to give the sw a few months to see how many cases we got. Now I am starting to wonder how much I need to start advertising on my own. I didn't really want to do this for many reasons, but now I worry that I have to.
Friends and family are starting to get discouraged too bc they don't understand how this works. They are complaining to me that this is taking too long and that really annoys me. I am trying to keep my cool but I want to yell profanities at them.