I finally had a moment to sit down and share my thoughts about the adoption orientation. It was very overwhelming so I needed time to sort it all out.
The overall experience was good. I walked away with a lot of knowledge and a feeling that this agency is organized. I have a checklist of about 18 steps. The first one was orientation so I was happy to get something checked off.
It was hard for me to sit there for an hour and a half and listen to the social worker. She went over domestic and international. I almost cried a few times. Some of the times it was for me and my loss and the others were for the poor children who are abandoned and or neglected.
She asked us what we wanted and we had no idea in terms of race, age, etc. I said that I did not need an infant that I was ok with 0-3 years old. Then she said that the older they are, the harder it is to bond with that child bc they could have PTS.
It takes $50 to get the process started. Then comes $450 and 6 pages of forms. Then we get fingerprinted and they investigate the two of us. We have to get 7 letters of reference. They visit our house and we have to go into their office for a few visits. I am sure that there are more details I am forgetting. I just remember looking down at the final price of $28,000 and almost passing out.
After we are cleared to be fit to adopt, we make a photo book for the birth mothers to look at. The sw showed us some books from couples who were already matched. She said that the BM will look at a few books and will most likely want to meet us before making her choice.
She said that most of them want a open adoption. She said it varies but most of them want photos and/or annual visits for the first 18 years. This was another topic we were not ready to make a decision on yet.
We decided to wait until next month to commit to this agency. My dh wanted time to ask around and see if there were any other agencies. Also, she told us not to fill out the first form until we were ready to make the hard choices and go guns blazing. She only takes up to 20 couples at a time and does not want anyone who is wishy washy signed up.