Today is the due date for that first possible case I had. I was sad today thinking about how different my day could have been. All the what ifs surrounding the possible birth.
I am not sure if I feel sad bc it was my first chance at being an adoptive parent or if I will feel this way each time I get turned down.
I finally got around to checking my email. I am old fashioned bc I like to check it on my desktop with the large screen and not the tiny screen on my phone. I was scrolling the list of messages when I saw the SW with the title possible case.
OMG I was so excited to get my second chance. So far there is nothing to go by other than the BM was 5 months along and wanted to have 2-3 visits per year. The SW wanted to know if that was ok with us. Then she was going to gather more info.
I wrote her back saying yes as long as she was within a few hours, I said that I assumed the BM was somewhat local or within our state. We will see what she says. Hopefully I did not ruin my chance. I hope saying "a few hours" is vague enough. I have to make this commitment so if I say I will visit 3 times a year, which is every 4 months I have to make sure that I am capable of doing so.
I also said if she was close enough we could do more than that. I am very open to visits. That is not an issue for me. When I first started I was scared of visits with the BM but after reading about how important it is for the child, I am comfortable with it.
So we will see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully the BM does not live too far, bc I would like to learn more and see if this would be a good match.
The timing would be great bc I think that would be April or May which would work out great with my teaching schedule. This would also give me time to prepare. On the other hand, she is only 5 months along so she would also have more time to think about it.