Since I am a middle school teacher I may be more sensitive to bullying. I work really hard to teach my students that being a either a bully or a bystander are not ok. We talk constantly about compromise. How to make decisions when two people do not agree. We talk about voting, flipping a coin, rock paper scissors, trying to put the other person first etc. I make it very clear that the loudest person does not simply get their way. I also have to remind them that we do not say "that one is mine."
When I taught in a catholic school we called this morals and we had Jesus to be our role model. I would always say to them, what would Jesus do? Now that I teach in a public school, we call it character education. I work with 12 year olds who are starting to learn how to put others first and be civilized.I am very please with their progress.
It has been really hard dealing with my family on FB. My sister is an atheist. I am so embarrassed to admit it. But it goes with the way she behaves. She always puts herself first. I thought my other west cousin was christian but I am not sure. Most of my family is Catholic but they are becoming bystanders. They are allowing the loudest one to get his/her way. I finally convinced everyone to take a real vote. I set up a poll on FB. The only ones who voted were the loud ones. Then they were like oh yeah I am sure the others are ok with this. I said, no we need to call them and make them cast a vote.
My DH asked my west cousin why he was so stuck on the 5 hour away place. My sister chimed in with "oh that place was great. Our original plan was great and why are we making such a fuss now." I don't remember when they voted the first time. I keep hearing about how everyone voted the first time. I really think I was absent. That is why I am making sure this time that everyone actually casts a physical vote.
I understand that not everyone will be able to go every year. There will be some compromises that need to be made. But, if someone has a reason that they can never go I think that needs to be addressed. I cannot believe this behavior.
They don't realize my tenacity.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
One Week Later
It has been one week since my surgical procedure. The rash has finally gone away. I think that was the longest week of my life. It is hard to live your life when your entire body is covered in a very itchy rash and you are in a fog due to the antihistamines you are taking.The dr told me that it was impossible to say how long it could take so I am glad that it was only one week. I used up one large tube of cortisone cream.
I still have to call to schedule my follow up with my dr. Last week was so crazy I never had a free moment.
My sister has calmed down on fb, but now my cousin's wife has started up. I am really surprised with this. She has been a real source of support for me these past 5 years. She went through if herself and now has twins. She lives hours away but we have spoken on the phone and have done email. I am upset that she is making things more difficult than needed. She knows that I will not drive 5 hours.
The situation is that we still need to pick a location and maybe a date for this reunion. If you imagine a compass rose, she is west, I am north. My other cousin and my sister are east. Then the rest of my family is south east. My east cousin was great and suggested that we pick a place in the middle so that nobody has to travel more than 4 hours. This would include the most western cousin and the most eastern cousin. I was so happy. I thought it was a great idea. Then the west cousin shot it down bc she did not like the date. Then she suggested we go to the place that is 5 hours away again.
I was really hurt. I have only made suggestions that are fair to everyone. I have spent a lot of time looking for places that are in the middle. She keeps pressing for this place when it will even be an additional hour for her. The west cousin and east cousin are brothers. So far on FB it has mostly been the west, the east and me making suggestions.
After the last time she suggestion the 5 hour place, I got mad and suggested that we take a vote on the date. I am free anytime so I even said that I don't care about the date, but I am showing that we need to vote on this one step at a time. I created a poll on FB. It is starting to get to the point where most of the family is not getting involved and I wish they would step up.
I then spent hours finding tons of places in a central location. I will have to call them next week. I am going to try to find another family member to help me. It will be tough bc I have to match their price or beat it.
I still have to call to schedule my follow up with my dr. Last week was so crazy I never had a free moment.
My sister has calmed down on fb, but now my cousin's wife has started up. I am really surprised with this. She has been a real source of support for me these past 5 years. She went through if herself and now has twins. She lives hours away but we have spoken on the phone and have done email. I am upset that she is making things more difficult than needed. She knows that I will not drive 5 hours.
The situation is that we still need to pick a location and maybe a date for this reunion. If you imagine a compass rose, she is west, I am north. My other cousin and my sister are east. Then the rest of my family is south east. My east cousin was great and suggested that we pick a place in the middle so that nobody has to travel more than 4 hours. This would include the most western cousin and the most eastern cousin. I was so happy. I thought it was a great idea. Then the west cousin shot it down bc she did not like the date. Then she suggested we go to the place that is 5 hours away again.
I was really hurt. I have only made suggestions that are fair to everyone. I have spent a lot of time looking for places that are in the middle. She keeps pressing for this place when it will even be an additional hour for her. The west cousin and east cousin are brothers. So far on FB it has mostly been the west, the east and me making suggestions.
After the last time she suggestion the 5 hour place, I got mad and suggested that we take a vote on the date. I am free anytime so I even said that I don't care about the date, but I am showing that we need to vote on this one step at a time. I created a poll on FB. It is starting to get to the point where most of the family is not getting involved and I wish they would step up.
I then spent hours finding tons of places in a central location. I will have to call them next week. I am going to try to find another family member to help me. It will be tough bc I have to match their price or beat it.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
FB Sister Drama
OMG my sister is really pushing it. As you know we have not spoken in 3 years. If you missed the drama you can use the search function on the side and it should pop up. Well things have been quiet since she ignores me. Whatever! Recently I had to go down to see my family for something. My family lives about 3 hours south of me.
We drove down and there was a dinner at a restaurant. Each family sat together. I saw my sister and my parents already sitting together and something inside me just snapped. She is about 7 mos pg and I think that I knew I just could not sit there and listen to her go on and on about it. I just refused to sit with them. I am also tired of being ignored. I asked my aunt/uncle and cousins if they had room at their table. Thankfully they did. We had a nice time. I had not seen them in months so it was actually nice to sit with them. At the end my father asked me if I was mad at him. I told him no, but I refuse to sit down and eat next to someone who ignores me and treats me with disrespect.
I got back home and my cousin started a FB closed group that included all of us. The intent was to start a discussion on where to have the next family reunion. This was the first time that my sister and I were on the same FB anything. She stopped speaking to me before I joined FB so we were never friends on there. Well, the first discussion was where to have the reunion. The past 4 years it has been really far away. It was in a place that was about 5 hours away in another state and it was not easy to get to. The reason is my one cousin set it up so she chose the place. She lives the farthest away. Everyone had to drive all the way out there and they did it every year. Every year I asked for it to be moved closer bc I would not drive that far. I never went.
I was so glad to finally have the discussion open up. A few people agreed with me, but my sister kept bringing it up that she wanted to go back to the same place. I was furious. She knows that I won't go there. I made a comment about not being able to travel that far, so let's pick a new place. Last night she made a general comment about having to suck it up bc family is more important. I knew that was directed at me. I was so mad, but I had to sleep on it. I have always told myself that I would not go Jerry Springer on FB in front of people, but now I realize just how hard it is to resist that temptation to stand up for yourself when someone disrespects you.
Someone mentioned an indoor water park place in another state. My cousin said that was too far as it was almost 7 hours from her. I suggested the same park in a closer state. I asked my cousin if that was too far for her bc I understand how it is to drive too long. Then my sister writes back that the water park is not that great and she again insisted that we go back to the first location bc that place that I don' want to go. OMG I wanted to slap her in the face. I am a shy quiet nonviolent person, but this was it.
My DH told me to take a breather and not write anything on FB that I would regret. Then he had a great idea. He found a website that allows you to type in all the addresses and it will calculate the midpoint. Eureka! He is very logical. He said you have to win an argument with math and not emotions. I love him! I did that and found that the midpoint was only about 2-3 hours from me and most of my family. The midpoint was about 5 hours away from my one cousin which is the same distance to that first place.
I wrote up something and had my dh edit it. I wrote about how the focus of the family reunion is to gather family and the entertainment is secondary. I wrote about the midpoint and how it was not necessary for all of us to go 5 hours away when we could find something closer by and be fair to everyone. I even copied the picture of the map to show everyone. I then requested that we find a location close to the midpoint so that we could be fair and maximize attendance.
OMG my heart rate is up. I am so upset with her that she would continually try to exclude me from the reunion. I would never do that to her even though she is treating me this way. I am waiting to see her response. I do not want to get into a FB fight. I promised my dh that I would not send any replies without talking to him first. This group is just my family members but I still do not want to get into it. I can only imagine after seeing my post, that the rest of the family would never consider keeping it at the first place, but my sister is a real nag.
We drove down and there was a dinner at a restaurant. Each family sat together. I saw my sister and my parents already sitting together and something inside me just snapped. She is about 7 mos pg and I think that I knew I just could not sit there and listen to her go on and on about it. I just refused to sit with them. I am also tired of being ignored. I asked my aunt/uncle and cousins if they had room at their table. Thankfully they did. We had a nice time. I had not seen them in months so it was actually nice to sit with them. At the end my father asked me if I was mad at him. I told him no, but I refuse to sit down and eat next to someone who ignores me and treats me with disrespect.
I got back home and my cousin started a FB closed group that included all of us. The intent was to start a discussion on where to have the next family reunion. This was the first time that my sister and I were on the same FB anything. She stopped speaking to me before I joined FB so we were never friends on there. Well, the first discussion was where to have the reunion. The past 4 years it has been really far away. It was in a place that was about 5 hours away in another state and it was not easy to get to. The reason is my one cousin set it up so she chose the place. She lives the farthest away. Everyone had to drive all the way out there and they did it every year. Every year I asked for it to be moved closer bc I would not drive that far. I never went.
I was so glad to finally have the discussion open up. A few people agreed with me, but my sister kept bringing it up that she wanted to go back to the same place. I was furious. She knows that I won't go there. I made a comment about not being able to travel that far, so let's pick a new place. Last night she made a general comment about having to suck it up bc family is more important. I knew that was directed at me. I was so mad, but I had to sleep on it. I have always told myself that I would not go Jerry Springer on FB in front of people, but now I realize just how hard it is to resist that temptation to stand up for yourself when someone disrespects you.
Someone mentioned an indoor water park place in another state. My cousin said that was too far as it was almost 7 hours from her. I suggested the same park in a closer state. I asked my cousin if that was too far for her bc I understand how it is to drive too long. Then my sister writes back that the water park is not that great and she again insisted that we go back to the first location bc that place that I don' want to go. OMG I wanted to slap her in the face. I am a shy quiet nonviolent person, but this was it.
My DH told me to take a breather and not write anything on FB that I would regret. Then he had a great idea. He found a website that allows you to type in all the addresses and it will calculate the midpoint. Eureka! He is very logical. He said you have to win an argument with math and not emotions. I love him! I did that and found that the midpoint was only about 2-3 hours from me and most of my family. The midpoint was about 5 hours away from my one cousin which is the same distance to that first place.
I wrote up something and had my dh edit it. I wrote about how the focus of the family reunion is to gather family and the entertainment is secondary. I wrote about the midpoint and how it was not necessary for all of us to go 5 hours away when we could find something closer by and be fair to everyone. I even copied the picture of the map to show everyone. I then requested that we find a location close to the midpoint so that we could be fair and maximize attendance.
OMG my heart rate is up. I am so upset with her that she would continually try to exclude me from the reunion. I would never do that to her even though she is treating me this way. I am waiting to see her response. I do not want to get into a FB fight. I promised my dh that I would not send any replies without talking to him first. This group is just my family members but I still do not want to get into it. I can only imagine after seeing my post, that the rest of the family would never consider keeping it at the first place, but my sister is a real nag.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Mega Rash
On Tuesday after my procedure my back started to itch but I did not think anything of it. Then I woke up Wed morning with a really itchy rash on my chest, back, and neck. I had a delayed reaction to something they gave me. Then it started to creep up my face. A few hours later it started to go down my belly. Then it went to my thighs. I called my doc and he said to do antihistamines and cortisone cream. He said it was nothing to worry about unless I started to have trouble breathing. He said it should go away soon.
The next day it I woke up and it started to go down my arms and onto my hands. I freaked out that this rash just kept spreading even though I had started antihistamines and it was 24 hours later. I went to see my local doc who said the rash was textbook pain med reaction rash. She said to keep doing the same things and if it does not go away in 4 days come back for prednisone. 4 days??? ugh This rash is super itchy. She said it is hard to tell how long it could take to go away bc the reaction itself can go on for a few days and then it takes a few more to go away. She said that one lady had a reaction from hair dye and it took 4 weeks to go away.
The rash on its 3rd day has now moved down away from my face and neck. So I am hopeful that it is getting better. It is still super itchy on my chest and makes wearing a bra unbearable. My arms are also itchy. It is crazy bc the pain med caused more pain than the relief it provided on Tues.
At this point, I am satisfied that I am no longer in danger of dying. I started to freak out when it kept spreading all over like something in a sci fi movie. I hope that it goes away on its own. I don't want to go back for prednisone. My DH is getting really good at slathering lotion all over me. I bought the largest tube of cortisone cream available and I am almost done.
The next day it I woke up and it started to go down my arms and onto my hands. I freaked out that this rash just kept spreading even though I had started antihistamines and it was 24 hours later. I went to see my local doc who said the rash was textbook pain med reaction rash. She said to keep doing the same things and if it does not go away in 4 days come back for prednisone. 4 days??? ugh This rash is super itchy. She said it is hard to tell how long it could take to go away bc the reaction itself can go on for a few days and then it takes a few more to go away. She said that one lady had a reaction from hair dye and it took 4 weeks to go away.
The rash on its 3rd day has now moved down away from my face and neck. So I am hopeful that it is getting better. It is still super itchy on my chest and makes wearing a bra unbearable. My arms are also itchy. It is crazy bc the pain med caused more pain than the relief it provided on Tues.
At this point, I am satisfied that I am no longer in danger of dying. I started to freak out when it kept spreading all over like something in a sci fi movie. I hope that it goes away on its own. I don't want to go back for prednisone. My DH is getting really good at slathering lotion all over me. I bought the largest tube of cortisone cream available and I am almost done.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Back From The Hospital
I am back from the hospital. I had to travel 3 hours to see my napro surgeon but it was worth it. I trust him 100% to be thorough and do everything he can to restore my fertility. We went down Monday night and got a hotel nearby. The ride down was easy since it was mostly highway.
The next morning we had to be there to check in a 9:30 to be in the OR at 11:30. We got there ok and checked in. Everyone was very helpful. The hospital itself is very nice. We went from one check in area to the next. Everything was moving along. We went to the pre op area and had our own little cubby room with a bed and some chairs. There were rooms around the center where the nurses were. It was great. People kept coming in to talk to us and get us to sign forms. The two hours went by quickly. I was starving and my stomach was growling.
The nurse came in to do the IV. I asked her if she was an expert. I told her that I had this done many times and it ranged from going right in to getting stabbed multiple times by a student. She got it right in on the first try. Those suckers still really hurt in the hand, but at least she only had to stab me once.The anesthesia Dr asked me about problems. I told him that it just makes me sick. He said they would give me some stuff to prevent nausea and vomiting. I went into the OR. They started to hook me up to the meds and I felt it in my head and then I was out.
I woke up in recovery. Since I had the light anesthesia and no tube in my throat it was easier to wake up. The nurse asked me if I felt sick. Nope. Then he asked me about pain. I had the worst cramps ever. He asked me what it was on a scale of 1-10. I told him that I have a high tolerance for pain but this is killing me and I needed something. He tells me that he will take care of me and then puts something in the IV. I was thinking it would be something like motrin, but then he says this stuff is better than morphine. YIKES. Then it hit me and the cramps were immediately gone. I told him he was my angel. Then it hit my head. I started to feel really stoned.
They wheeled me back to the post op area where you get ready to go. They brought me in and the first nurse looked at me funny. I can only imagine what I looked like. She says are you ok? I said yes, I am just really stoned. They laughed. She slowly got me to sit up and onto the chair. Then she asked me if I wanted a muffin to eat. oh gross. I said let's start slow with some crackers and ginger ale. I was so stoned that I could not move my head. I probably could have gone to sleep but I knew I had to stay awake, eat, and go home. I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. I was not hungry at all but I was not nauseous at all either. I ate my four crackers slowly, my jello, and drake my soda. I felt ok. Then another nurse comes by and tells me that I should not be afraid to move. I told her that I was stoned and she laughed. She says oh yeah well they gave you some heavy narcotics and I guess you are a light weight.
I told my DH to take good notes when the dr speaks to him. The good news it that my tubes are clear. They have been clear every time I had checked them, but it has been two years so I wanted to make sure. Then he tells me that the polyps came back. That was my fear. It has been 3 years since I had them checked. They are micro polyps so they do not show up on US. My dh said I had a field of them. I don't know exactly how bad this is until I speak to the Dr at my follow up. I can only imagine that a field of micro polyps would make it very hard if not impossible for a tiny embryo to implant. He also said the inside of my uterus was irritated/inflamed. He told my DH that I was going in the right direction with the immune dr. He also said that polyps are part of the endometriosis package. So at least I have some stuff to work on. The polyps are gone for for how long? Now I have to follow up with the immune Dr to deal with this inflammation.
I sat there for an hour. Then they had me get up to pee. That is the final test that you are allowed to go. I told them that my head was so heavy that I would probably fall over. They got two nurses to help me up and take me over. I was able to pee enough and was told I could go. I got back in the chair and they took out my IV. The wonderful nurse helped me get dressed. She commented on my great choice of clothes. I told her I am an old pro. I had drawstring PJ pants, no bra, long sleeve undershirt, zip up sweat shit. Fuzzy sock and slippers.
(Warning Gross part, read at your own risk)
I am about ready to leave when I got that feeling. I tell her that I am going to be sick and she comes running with a small pink bowel. Well, thankfully it was only water bc I got so sick that I filled up about 5 of those. She had to pass each one off to the other nurse and give me a new one. Then I am not sure what happened bc it started to splash back out of the bowl onto my clothes. It got all over my arm. Then I was smart to move my legs so the next one hit the floor and not my lap. Oh it was terrible. She threw a towel on the floor and one on my lap. Then my DH starts to distract her and ask her why they use such small bowels. I got really mad. I yelled at him that I was busy and needed her full attention. When It was over, I told her that I do not get sick that often, (it had been two years) but when I do, watch out. She was an angel and cleaned me up. She commented that it smelled like strawberries thanks to the jello. I had to laugh. It did not look not like barf at all. If it was, I would have had to strip my shirt off and go home in a gown. She gave me a towel to take home and keep on my lap for the car.
(Gross part over)
Thankfully that was it. I was able to drive home for 3 hours without any repeat. I had a pillow that I keep in the car and I rested/slept the whole way home.When I got home I was not stoned anymore. I was able to have some light foods. I noticed that my skin was itchy. I thought that my skin was dry or annoyed from me laying down all day.
I woke up this morning and my skin was very itchy. I thought maybe I should take a shower to wash my skin. I went to look in the mirror and I had a huge rash all over my neck and chest front and back. It was creeping up on my face. It was not on my arms or legs.It was so itchy I had to take my shirt off. I tried so hard not to scratch now that I know I have a rash. I called the Dr just now and I am waiting to hear back. I am having a delayed reaction to something. I googled dilantin and it said you could get a rash from that. The rash is getting worse. I am not sure if I just need some cream or an internal medicine. It is weird how it is central to my face, neck and then down the middle of my chest/back to my belly button.
The nurse called me and said right now they are thinking delayed reaction from the anesthesia meds and to treat it like a basic rash with some cream and some bendryl. She said it should start to go down and be gone by the end of the day and to call back if it does not go away in a day. Thankfully I am home bc I cannot wear a bra. I would have to wear a potato sack. I have to go back tomorrow so I hope it is gone by then.
The next morning we had to be there to check in a 9:30 to be in the OR at 11:30. We got there ok and checked in. Everyone was very helpful. The hospital itself is very nice. We went from one check in area to the next. Everything was moving along. We went to the pre op area and had our own little cubby room with a bed and some chairs. There were rooms around the center where the nurses were. It was great. People kept coming in to talk to us and get us to sign forms. The two hours went by quickly. I was starving and my stomach was growling.
The nurse came in to do the IV. I asked her if she was an expert. I told her that I had this done many times and it ranged from going right in to getting stabbed multiple times by a student. She got it right in on the first try. Those suckers still really hurt in the hand, but at least she only had to stab me once.The anesthesia Dr asked me about problems. I told him that it just makes me sick. He said they would give me some stuff to prevent nausea and vomiting. I went into the OR. They started to hook me up to the meds and I felt it in my head and then I was out.
I woke up in recovery. Since I had the light anesthesia and no tube in my throat it was easier to wake up. The nurse asked me if I felt sick. Nope. Then he asked me about pain. I had the worst cramps ever. He asked me what it was on a scale of 1-10. I told him that I have a high tolerance for pain but this is killing me and I needed something. He tells me that he will take care of me and then puts something in the IV. I was thinking it would be something like motrin, but then he says this stuff is better than morphine. YIKES. Then it hit me and the cramps were immediately gone. I told him he was my angel. Then it hit my head. I started to feel really stoned.
They wheeled me back to the post op area where you get ready to go. They brought me in and the first nurse looked at me funny. I can only imagine what I looked like. She says are you ok? I said yes, I am just really stoned. They laughed. She slowly got me to sit up and onto the chair. Then she asked me if I wanted a muffin to eat. oh gross. I said let's start slow with some crackers and ginger ale. I was so stoned that I could not move my head. I probably could have gone to sleep but I knew I had to stay awake, eat, and go home. I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. I was not hungry at all but I was not nauseous at all either. I ate my four crackers slowly, my jello, and drake my soda. I felt ok. Then another nurse comes by and tells me that I should not be afraid to move. I told her that I was stoned and she laughed. She says oh yeah well they gave you some heavy narcotics and I guess you are a light weight.
I told my DH to take good notes when the dr speaks to him. The good news it that my tubes are clear. They have been clear every time I had checked them, but it has been two years so I wanted to make sure. Then he tells me that the polyps came back. That was my fear. It has been 3 years since I had them checked. They are micro polyps so they do not show up on US. My dh said I had a field of them. I don't know exactly how bad this is until I speak to the Dr at my follow up. I can only imagine that a field of micro polyps would make it very hard if not impossible for a tiny embryo to implant. He also said the inside of my uterus was irritated/inflamed. He told my DH that I was going in the right direction with the immune dr. He also said that polyps are part of the endometriosis package. So at least I have some stuff to work on. The polyps are gone for for how long? Now I have to follow up with the immune Dr to deal with this inflammation.
I sat there for an hour. Then they had me get up to pee. That is the final test that you are allowed to go. I told them that my head was so heavy that I would probably fall over. They got two nurses to help me up and take me over. I was able to pee enough and was told I could go. I got back in the chair and they took out my IV. The wonderful nurse helped me get dressed. She commented on my great choice of clothes. I told her I am an old pro. I had drawstring PJ pants, no bra, long sleeve undershirt, zip up sweat shit. Fuzzy sock and slippers.
(Warning Gross part, read at your own risk)
I am about ready to leave when I got that feeling. I tell her that I am going to be sick and she comes running with a small pink bowel. Well, thankfully it was only water bc I got so sick that I filled up about 5 of those. She had to pass each one off to the other nurse and give me a new one. Then I am not sure what happened bc it started to splash back out of the bowl onto my clothes. It got all over my arm. Then I was smart to move my legs so the next one hit the floor and not my lap. Oh it was terrible. She threw a towel on the floor and one on my lap. Then my DH starts to distract her and ask her why they use such small bowels. I got really mad. I yelled at him that I was busy and needed her full attention. When It was over, I told her that I do not get sick that often, (it had been two years) but when I do, watch out. She was an angel and cleaned me up. She commented that it smelled like strawberries thanks to the jello. I had to laugh. It did not look not like barf at all. If it was, I would have had to strip my shirt off and go home in a gown. She gave me a towel to take home and keep on my lap for the car.
(Gross part over)
Thankfully that was it. I was able to drive home for 3 hours without any repeat. I had a pillow that I keep in the car and I rested/slept the whole way home.When I got home I was not stoned anymore. I was able to have some light foods. I noticed that my skin was itchy. I thought that my skin was dry or annoyed from me laying down all day.
I woke up this morning and my skin was very itchy. I thought maybe I should take a shower to wash my skin. I went to look in the mirror and I had a huge rash all over my neck and chest front and back. It was creeping up on my face. It was not on my arms or legs.It was so itchy I had to take my shirt off. I tried so hard not to scratch now that I know I have a rash. I called the Dr just now and I am waiting to hear back. I am having a delayed reaction to something. I googled dilantin and it said you could get a rash from that. The rash is getting worse. I am not sure if I just need some cream or an internal medicine. It is weird how it is central to my face, neck and then down the middle of my chest/back to my belly button.
The nurse called me and said right now they are thinking delayed reaction from the anesthesia meds and to treat it like a basic rash with some cream and some bendryl. She said it should start to go down and be gone by the end of the day and to call back if it does not go away in a day. Thankfully I am home bc I cannot wear a bra. I would have to wear a potato sack. I have to go back tomorrow so I hope it is gone by then.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
I Survived a Baby Shower
Over the summer my MIL introduced me to a woman about my age who was also struggling with if. We were both doing napro. She was about to have her first surgery with the same surgeon and since I was an old pro my mil gave her my number. We spoke on the phone and had an instant connection. I gave her all my pointers on the surgery. A few months later we met in person with our DHs. All four of us hit it off.
Then about a month later, my dh got an email from hers saying that she was pg. He wanted to be sensitive and break it to us gently. It was very sweet and thoughtful of them. At first I was thrilled for them. She had been trying for 5 years prior to the surgery. Then it only took her a few months after the surgery to have success. After I was happy for her, I got really sad for myself being that I had surgery two years ago and nothing happened for me.
Time went on, and I saw her again. I got over my sadness and I became happier for her. She invited me to her baby shower. I was happy that she invited me bc I did not want my if status to make things weird but at the same time I was not sure if I could handle it. I decided to try and see what happens.
The first hurdle was getting the gift. I knew I could not handle going into babies r us without having a melt down. I went online and looked at her registry. I decided to buy the most useful, basic, not cute thing I could find. I decided to get a stroller. Then I decided to order it online. I did do in store pick to save on shipping. When I got the email that my order was ready, I was able to just go to the customer service desk and pick it up. It was already paid for so I did not have to get in line.
Yesterday was the shower. Overall I am happy that I went to support her. There were times that I almost cried, but I didn't. It was really hard when she opened something really tiny and really cute and then every single person in the room would go ooohhhhh aahhhhh how cute. Then they would reminisce about their children. There were also a few women there who brought young babies. It is hard to be surrounded by reminders.
I am glad that I went. It was really hard, but that is life. I think the part that made it bearable was the fact that she was ttc for so long and they had sympathy for me when they told us.
Then about a month later, my dh got an email from hers saying that she was pg. He wanted to be sensitive and break it to us gently. It was very sweet and thoughtful of them. At first I was thrilled for them. She had been trying for 5 years prior to the surgery. Then it only took her a few months after the surgery to have success. After I was happy for her, I got really sad for myself being that I had surgery two years ago and nothing happened for me.
Time went on, and I saw her again. I got over my sadness and I became happier for her. She invited me to her baby shower. I was happy that she invited me bc I did not want my if status to make things weird but at the same time I was not sure if I could handle it. I decided to try and see what happens.
The first hurdle was getting the gift. I knew I could not handle going into babies r us without having a melt down. I went online and looked at her registry. I decided to buy the most useful, basic, not cute thing I could find. I decided to get a stroller. Then I decided to order it online. I did do in store pick to save on shipping. When I got the email that my order was ready, I was able to just go to the customer service desk and pick it up. It was already paid for so I did not have to get in line.
Yesterday was the shower. Overall I am happy that I went to support her. There were times that I almost cried, but I didn't. It was really hard when she opened something really tiny and really cute and then every single person in the room would go ooohhhhh aahhhhh how cute. Then they would reminisce about their children. There were also a few women there who brought young babies. It is hard to be surrounded by reminders.
I am glad that I went. It was really hard, but that is life. I think the part that made it bearable was the fact that she was ttc for so long and they had sympathy for me when they told us.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Speeding Ticket
Last month about 2 weeks after I got my new car, I got a speeding ticket. I was driving down a road that looked like a highway but it was only a 45. I was going somewhere unfamiliar and had the GPS on. It was early in the day and there was nobody on the road. I was not really paying attention to my speed bc I was worried about making a wrong turn.
All of a sudden I saw a cop with his lights on. He told me I was going 70. I really had no idea, and it was a total accident. He gave me a ticket and told me to appear in court on Feb 1 bc I could try to talk it down. I waited a whole month and today was my court date.
I drive 30 min to the town court. I get on line to show my ticket to the clerk. The room is full of people so I am thinking I will be here awhile. I brought papers to correct just in case. She sees my ticket and tells me that if I plead guilty I will get 6pts on my license and have to pay court fees on top. Since they suspend your license at 11pts, this is a large number of pts. It turns out they do not assign pts on first offense etc. They just assign it based on the crime. She tells me if I plead not guilty then I can come back another day to talk it down. I must have had a really dumb look on my face. I told her that the officer said to come tonight to speak to the judge. She said nope, tonight is just to chose guilty or not. So I got really mad, but I had to keep my cool. I said so, I could have just mailed this in.....
I was also confused bc I was guilty, I did speed, but if I admit that then I do not get a chance to explain and ask for leniency I think she caught on bc then she says, if this is your first offense just plead not guilty. I really had no choice bc the penalty of 6ts is too high. I would also have to pay court fees, and then the DMV gets you for $300 for the driver responsibility program when you get 6pts in 18 months. REALLY??? So for my first offense this is what I could get....ughhhhhhhhh
So I had no choice, I plead not guilty took the paper she gave me and left. Then I read that I have to come back NEXT month for a pre-trial meeting with the ADA. If we agree to something then I do not have to go to court. If we do not agree then I have to go back to court. OMG so I am not sure what will happen. This is my first offense but I was driving 25 miles over the limit. That number sounds outrageous to me but the road was empty and my new car has a super quick acceleartaion. I barely tap it and I am going 40.
I am going to tell the truth. I am going to bring my car receipt and tell them that I just got a new car two weeks prior, so I was not used to the acceleration since my former car was 14 years old. We will see what happens. Even if they reduce it one point I will not have to pay the stupid responsibility fee. It is crazy that I drive without issue for 18 years and I never get any reward but I screw up once and I get hit hard. By the time this gets settled it will be months later.
All of a sudden I saw a cop with his lights on. He told me I was going 70. I really had no idea, and it was a total accident. He gave me a ticket and told me to appear in court on Feb 1 bc I could try to talk it down. I waited a whole month and today was my court date.
I drive 30 min to the town court. I get on line to show my ticket to the clerk. The room is full of people so I am thinking I will be here awhile. I brought papers to correct just in case. She sees my ticket and tells me that if I plead guilty I will get 6pts on my license and have to pay court fees on top. Since they suspend your license at 11pts, this is a large number of pts. It turns out they do not assign pts on first offense etc. They just assign it based on the crime. She tells me if I plead not guilty then I can come back another day to talk it down. I must have had a really dumb look on my face. I told her that the officer said to come tonight to speak to the judge. She said nope, tonight is just to chose guilty or not. So I got really mad, but I had to keep my cool. I said so, I could have just mailed this in.....
I was also confused bc I was guilty, I did speed, but if I admit that then I do not get a chance to explain and ask for leniency I think she caught on bc then she says, if this is your first offense just plead not guilty. I really had no choice bc the penalty of 6ts is too high. I would also have to pay court fees, and then the DMV gets you for $300 for the driver responsibility program when you get 6pts in 18 months. REALLY??? So for my first offense this is what I could get....ughhhhhhhhh
So I had no choice, I plead not guilty took the paper she gave me and left. Then I read that I have to come back NEXT month for a pre-trial meeting with the ADA. If we agree to something then I do not have to go to court. If we do not agree then I have to go back to court. OMG so I am not sure what will happen. This is my first offense but I was driving 25 miles over the limit. That number sounds outrageous to me but the road was empty and my new car has a super quick acceleartaion. I barely tap it and I am going 40.
I am going to tell the truth. I am going to bring my car receipt and tell them that I just got a new car two weeks prior, so I was not used to the acceleration since my former car was 14 years old. We will see what happens. Even if they reduce it one point I will not have to pay the stupid responsibility fee. It is crazy that I drive without issue for 18 years and I never get any reward but I screw up once and I get hit hard. By the time this gets settled it will be months later.
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