Over the summer my MIL introduced me to a woman about my age who was also struggling with if. We were both doing napro. She was about to have her first surgery with the same surgeon and since I was an old pro my mil gave her my number. We spoke on the phone and had an instant connection. I gave her all my pointers on the surgery. A few months later we met in person with our DHs. All four of us hit it off.
Then about a month later, my dh got an email from hers saying that she was pg. He wanted to be sensitive and break it to us gently. It was very sweet and thoughtful of them. At first I was thrilled for them. She had been trying for 5 years prior to the surgery. Then it only took her a few months after the surgery to have success. After I was happy for her, I got really sad for myself being that I had surgery two years ago and nothing happened for me.
Time went on, and I saw her again. I got over my sadness and I became happier for her. She invited me to her baby shower. I was happy that she invited me bc I did not want my if status to make things weird but at the same time I was not sure if I could handle it. I decided to try and see what happens.
The first hurdle was getting the gift. I knew I could not handle going into babies r us without having a melt down. I went online and looked at her registry. I decided to buy the most useful, basic, not cute thing I could find. I decided to get a stroller. Then I decided to order it online. I did do in store pick to save on shipping. When I got the email that my order was ready, I was able to just go to the customer service desk and pick it up. It was already paid for so I did not have to get in line.
Yesterday was the shower. Overall I am happy that I went to support her. There were times that I almost cried, but I didn't. It was really hard when she opened something really tiny and really cute and then every single person in the room would go ooohhhhh aahhhhh how cute. Then they would reminisce about their children. There were also a few women there who brought young babies. It is hard to be surrounded by reminders.
I am glad that I went. It was really hard, but that is life. I think the part that made it bearable was the fact that she was ttc for so long and they had sympathy for me when they told us.