This week is NIAW or National Infertility Awareness week. RESOLVE has done a nice job with this. They had a bust a myth blog challenge that I participated in. I was nervous at first, but then when I started to get some nice comments, I was very glad that I did it. It was nice to be a part of something. I also created a sock swap for this week. I started this idea a few months back. It was nice to see my idea come to life. Being infertile makes you feel the constant sting of failure. So putting these two projects together and having success was wonderful. I got some nice responses to both projects.
I spoke to my napro Dr yesterday. It was nice to speak with him since we are now on a two month rotation for cycle reviews. He said "two out of three aint bad" when referring to the fact that this month my LUFS messed with my cycle and I had a delayed rupture. I had success the past two months So I thought two in a row was awesome. He said that he started reading Dr. Beer's book after I suggested it. I thought that was really cool that a Dr took my suggestion on a book and thought it was worth reading. Who knows how many women will be helped by this Dr becuase of my suggestion? I asked him if I should do another lap since it has been a year. He said that he would not do another lap until it has been two years. ugh, so while I am relieved bc I do not really want another surgery, I was hoping that getting my insides spruced up would help. He said that digging into your ovaries too many times will limit your reserve and could send you into early menopause. I trust him 100%. At the end he said something about how I keep going. I think he was trying to compliment me, but it made me questions whether or not I should continue. I can't imagine waiting another year. But, then I thought the same thing last year after I had my surgery. At what point do you give up? If I had nothing to fix I guess I could think about it. At this time, I still have my immune issues to work on.
Today was test day. I have no self control when it comes to home tests, so I POAS and got a BFN. Then I had to go get my blood test at the request of the Dr. My Beta was zero, so that is the end of this month. I am bummed but not upset. I think I am numb. Plus, I really had no expectation at all. My cycle was wacky with my poor CM. Then I had a large follicle that did not rupture, grew 10 more MM and then had a delayed rupture after I stated progesterone. My immunme tests came back and my levels are still high. But you know even when you think there is no chance, you get disappointed that a miracle did not happen.
I have to call the RI's office tomorrow. I dread dealing with the office staff...ughh, but then I will get to talk to the Dr and ask about my immune tests and make a plan. A new plan always brings back the positive vibes.