Saturday, October 8, 2011

Next Move?

TTC News: I think may be post peak, but I am not sure. This is the first time since I started charting that I had barely any CM. I used to use yellow stamps and this month I think I had maybe 3 days, but I am not even really sure. I had a lot of variables this month. I had major stress, which I think is the main cause, but I also started lovenox so that could be a factor. I had to deal with a YI, so that by itself or that med could have done it. Who knows, maybe something is working and I should only have 3 days of cm and not 8 like I usually do? I decided not to go back for the post peak us. I am tired of that. There is really nothing left to try so I would rather not know and not worry about it until p+14. They have a hard time any way deciding if it is a CL or a lufs. This will also save me money,. time, and stress.

My uterine biopsy results came back. My uterine NK were low so I do not have to treat them. =) This is great news! I did not want to have to take any more medications. Then something new popped up. My FoxP3 cells are low. This is some sort of off switch with your immune system. I tried to google it but it was really hard to understand. There was an  article about endometriosis and low foxP3 cells. I also saw one about progesterone. I have both endo and low progesterone so who knows. I have to wait to to hear back from the specialist what the treatment will be. This test further proves that IVF would have never worked for me. My immune system is on high alert. It has taken me years to get to this point, but at least I have peace about knowing what is wrong with me. It was terrible all those years when I was told nothing was wrong.

 Work Drama:
Thank you again for all the kind words. It really does help to get some sympathy and know that I am not crazy. I went to the meeting and it was torture. All of the teachers who were at the committee to chose my job assignment and my boss were there. I just sat there quietly taking notes on what he said. I could not look him in the eyes. He made some comments like thanks to everyone for going along with this....this is going to be great.... I wanted to barf. I had a huge stress knot in my stomach. It was 45 min of bs. He would crack jokes and everyone would laugh. ergh.

The next day I decided to do a fun activity with my students. I do really love teaching and it is hard for me to separate my emotions from my job. I had a great time with them. I am starting to accept the fact that my boss made this change and even though it is not the best for my students there is nothing I can do about it. The part that I still cannot accept is that he is allowed to play favorites and exclude me from important decisions. Then he gave me a crappy assignment. I have to decide on my next move. Do I speak to another rep who is higher up and not in my building to see what she thinks about this? I am now afraid of what he might do in the future. I was a model employee and he did this and then he justified it. So what happens the next time I slip up? I feel like I need to cover my butt. I think I will at least speak to her and feel her out before I make any serious decisions.

The summary of my work drama so far: I had an emotional break down, then I got really angry, then I got depressed. Now I am mostly in the acceptance phase and I am not sure what is next.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad your biopsy test results were good! That's got to be a relief! ;) I'm sure your cycle is off bc you had MAJOR stress this month. It still sucks to have a bum cycle, though.
    I hope that your boss isn't a jerk to you anymore. You definitely don't deserve it! Good for you for enjoying your class anyway. Your boss can't take that away from you! :)


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