Ok so I am sorry to continue like this, but I am starting to lose my mind. I have never felt so unglued before in my life. I actually started to mention to my DH that I need to seek professional help.......
I thought it was the PMS, so AF arrived and then I felt much better about the work drama even though I am still dealing with it.
Then today I checked FB before work and saw that my cousin wrote a post about my baby sister expecting her second child........I lost it and started crying. Here is a link to more back story with her. I was so mad that my parents did not tell me or have any sympathy for me. UGHHHHHHHHH I was able to refrain from going Jerry Springer on FB bc I wanted to write something not nice. I found an article about infertility and how families can help those in need. I sent it to my dad and my cousin privately and then I posted the link on FB and just said here is a good link for anyone who knows anyone going through this.
Then I went to work and started crying again....... and of course my boss saw me and probably thinks I am crying over him..... I was able to calm myself down when I saw my wonderful students. I told them to be nice to their siblings and never check fb before school.
Now I am sitting here and I am not sure what to think. I feel unglued. I am afraid to start trying ttc again. I have to start taking daily shots tonight. I have to deal with my sister. I have to deal with the work drama. My job was the one success I had and now it is coming apart. I think I am feeling worse about my IF bc I feel like a failure at work too. Getting lapped by your ungrateful super fertile younger sister does not help. Teaching was the one thing I was really good at. I am so stressed out and then thinking about how stress is bad makes it worse.
I was supposed to have an us apt on Fri but now I have a meeting where my boss will be there.......awkward. So I have to change it to Monday. I have a meeting with the union rep tomorrow to discuss my concern about unfair workload and not being invited to the discussion. We will see. I am freaking out about it. If this goes bad then I am going to have a mental breakdown.
Please pray for me.